The Quiet Pillar: Labels and Legacies The Man They Called "Irresponsible" In the busy stalls of Chinatown 1960s to 1983, the image of my father was often painted with the brush of frustration. I can still see him sitting there, using a torn scrap of cardboard from a shoe box to scribble down a customer’s items, totaling them up with a steady hand. Later would we realize that he made a mistake: he undercharged the customer! To the casual observer, and even to us, his family, he didn't seem to fit the mold of a "successful" businessman. He would often do the unthinkable: he would tell a customer not to buy from us, directing them to a competitor instead if they could find exactly what they wanted there. He never pushed for a sale; he only served and served. Then there were the business "blunders." During the oil crisis of 1973-74, his lack of aggressive negotiation led to a warehouse full of excess plastic sandals we couldn't sell. He didn't s...
I increasingly feel that most human interaction in the past was actually “mind versus mind.” The mind is powerful, but also complicated. It operates like a machine-gun bunker — constantly analyzing, defending, calculating, reacting. You say something, I respond. On the surface, it looks like communication. But underneath, it is often a subtle battle. Everyone is thinking: What should I say? What will happen if I say this? How will this affect me? What will others think of me? And so, relationships become a web of mental crossfire. Busy. Fast. Intelligent. But the heart remains closed. Then one day, I experienced something very different. In that moment, I spoke the truth. Not a designed response. Not a strategic statement. Not something calculated for a certain outcome. What I felt inside and what I expressed outside became completely aligned. There was no manipulation. No agenda. No hidden intention. I wasn’t even thinking: “What result will this create?” And in that moment, I felt a ...