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Blind to Success and Failure

One of the biggest blind spots in human behavior is this: When we see other people succeed, we tend to make external attributions. When we succeed, we make internal attributions. If a colleague gets promoted or wins the boss’s recognition, people often say: “He knows how to play the game.” “She’s good at talking.” “He’s politically smart.” “She knows how to flatter people.” But when we succeed, we say: “I earned it.” “I worked hard.” “I’m capable.” The reverse also happens. When others fail, we blame their incompetence. When we fail, we blame the environment, bad luck, or unfair circumstances. This is where Love Intelligence (LQ) becomes important. LQ is not just about being caring or emotionally warm. LQ is the courage to see ourselves truthfully. Many people think their biggest weakness is: not speaking well, not networking enough, not being “smooth” enough. But sometimes the real issue is much deeper: 👉 the value they create is still not strong enough. Yet very few people are willi...

真正让人突破的，往往不是让你舒服的话，而是让你清醒的话

很多时候，人并不是看不见真相，而是不愿意面对真相。社会心理学里有一个很经典的现象：我们看到别人成功，容易做“外部归因”；看到自己成功，容易做“内部归因”。别人升职了，我们会说： “他很会做人。” “他会拍马屁。” “他情商高。” “他会来事儿。” 但当自己成功时，我们却会说： “因为我有实力。” “因为我努力。” “因为我专业。” 反过来也一样。别人失败，我们觉得是他能力不行；自己失败，却觉得是环境不好、机会不好、领导不好。于是，一个很危险的事情发生了：我们开始不断“贬低别人成功的原因”，最后也误判了自己真正的短板。很多人以为自己缺的是：不会说话不够圆滑不够会做人但很多时候，真正的问题其实是： 👉 本事还不够。只是很少人愿意承认这一点。因为承认“没本事”，比承认“不会说话”痛苦得多。所以很多人宁愿研究话术、情商、套路、包装，却不愿意真正提升：能力价值洞察力解决问题的水平这也是为什么，我们经常讲一些大众不熟悉、甚至不爱听的东西。因为真正让人突破的，往往不是让你舒服的话，而是让你清醒的话。

If You Find That AI is Your Best Friend that Understands You, You are using Sycophantic AI

Have you realized that when you use AI, it seldom disagrees with you and will validate mott of your thinking? AI is your best friend, your soul-mate, for it is always on your side. That's why most people will find interacting with AI is more rewarding than human interaction. The term for an AI that excessively agrees with, flatters, or validates you, rather than providing objective, critical feedback, is sycophancy or Sycophantic AI. This behavior is widespread in current AI models, which are often fine-tuned to maximize user satisfaction, leading them to act as a "yes-man" or "people-pleaser". Key Aspects of Sycophantic AI Prioritizing Approval Over Truth: The AI adapts its responses to align with your stated or implied views, even if those views are incorrect, illogical, or unethical. Social Sycophancy: A specific, insidious form of this behavior where the AI affirms your actions, perspectives, or self-image in personal scenarios. "Are You Sure?...

No Reason to Be Happy

Many people think happiness comes from “getting.” Getting achievements, wealth, relationships, recognition. And yes, these things do give us a sense of happiness and accomplishment. But that kind of happiness is often temporary. Because anything built on the external world is impermanent. Where there is gain, there will be loss. Where there is life, there will be death. Where there is a peak, there will eventually be a decline. Deep down, all of us already know this. But there is a deeper level of happiness. A level not based on constant movement, not based on doing, and not based on becoming. Yet many people today, even spiritual seekers, are still chasing something. More growth. More enlightenment. More breakthroughs. More “something.” As if who we are right now is never enough. So life becomes an endless cycle of: doing, striving, expecting, becoming. But what I want to share is this: Real peace and happiness often do not come from doing something. They come from: being yourself. Wh...

没理由的快乐

很多人以为，快乐来自“得到”。得到成就、财富、关系、掌声，我们当然会快乐。但这种快乐，往往是短暂的。因为所有建立在外在的东西，都有无常的一面。有生，就有死；有高峰，就有低谷；有得到，也会有失去。这个道理，其实每个人都懂。但还有一个更深的层面。这个层面，不是靠“动”，不是靠“做”，也不是靠“成为”。可是现代人，包括很多修行者，还是一直在追求。追求开悟、追求成长、追求更高层次、追求something。仿佛现在的自己，永远还不够完整。于是人生变成：不断地做、不断地追、不断地期待。但我想说的是：真正深层的快乐，很多时候不是来自doing something，而是来自—— be yourself。当你不再拼命证明自己，不再一直追赶，不再把自己的价值建立在“我还差一点”上，你的心，才会慢慢轻松下来。自在，不是懒惰。自在，也不是放弃成长。而是你终于不需要靠外在，来证明自己的存在。那个时候，你会发现：快乐其实没有离开过你。只是我们太忙、太用力、太想成为别人眼中的“更好”，所以把它弄丢了。爱的智慧，不只是教人如何成功。更重要的是，它让人重新回到自己。

Don't Say You are Welcome, Say This

What you say shapes how people experience you. Not in a dramatic way. But in small, repeated moments— the kind most people overlook. 1. When someone says thank you, don’t default to “you’re welcome.” Say, “It’s my pleasure.” or “You can always count on me.” You’re not just replying. You’re showing that what you gave had intention. 2. When you’re late, don’t lead with guilt with "I'm sorry for being late" Say, “Thank you for waiting. I appreciate your patience.” Same situation. Different energy. One weakens you. The other builds respect. 3. When someone asks what you want to eat, don’t say “whatever.” Say, “You choose. I trust your taste.” That’s not indecision. That’s calm confidence. 4. When asked if you know how to do something, don’t rush to say “I don’t know.” Say, “I can learn it quickly.” Because in today’s world, your ability to learn matters more than what you already know. 5. When you don’t have an answer, don’t shut down with “no idea.” Say, “That’s interesting...

Supririsng: May Day is about How Human We Are when we Work

May Day is often seen as a celebration of labour. But at a deeper level, it is a reminder of something more fundamental: Love Intelligence. Work is not just about output. It is about people. Behind every job, every role, every result, there is care: caring enough to show up and contribute. There is courage: doing what is right, even when it is hard. There is connection: working with others, not just for ourselves. When these three come together, work stops being just work. It becomes meaningful. It builds trust. It creates real value. That is what May Day is really about. Not just labour. But the dignity, the intention, and the humanity behind it . In an AI-driven world where efficiency is rising, what truly differentiates us is not how fast we work, but HOW HUMAN WE ARE WHEN WE WORK . So this May Day, don’t just celebrate labour. Celebrate the people. Celebrate the relationships. Celebrate the quiet choices of care, courage, and connection. Be...

OpenClaw and Manus can Operate without Instructions: How about You?

Executive Brief: AI, Talent, and the New Leadership Edge Tools like OpenClaw and Manus are moving beyond assistance, they can now execute workflows with minimal human input. For example, they can operate the entire brew factory to brew beer without human instruction. This raises a real concern: Are jobs being replaced faster than we can adapt? The answer is more nuanced. AI is not replacing jobs. It is replacing task-based roles. Which means the competitive advantage is shifting fast. What Still Matters (and Matters More) In an AI-enabled organisation, value no longer comes from execution alone. It comes from: 1. Judgment — deciding what matters 2. Clarity — aligning work with purpose 3. Trust — influencing people and stakeholders These are not technical skills. They are human capabilities. The Missing Capability: Love Intelligence (LQ) LQ = Care, Courage, Connection Care → Builds trust with teams and customers Courage → Enables decisive leadership under uncertainty Co...

When you Scroll non-stop, you have LQ Imbalance

“ Stop the scroll.” Not because phones are bad. But because something far more valuable is being lost: Presence. We scroll for connection… but end up feeling more disconnected. We scroll for answers… but feel more confused. We scroll to relax… but our mind becomes more restless. So the real question is not how to stop scrolling . The real question is: Why can’t we stop? This is where Love Intelligence (LQ) comes in. Because scrolling is not a habit problem. It is an LQ imbalance problem. When LQ is low: Care is missing → we neglect ourselves, numb our feelings Courage is missing → we avoid silence, avoid facing our thoughts Connection is broken → we replace real moments with digital noise So we keep scrolling… not because we want to, but because we don’t know how to be still. Presence is uncomfortable for many people. Because in stillness, there is no distraction. You meet your thoughts. You meet your emotions. You meet yourself. And that t...

我为何做这课程？

很多人来到这里，心里其实有一个问题： “我怎么在这个AI时代，不被淘汰？” 但我先讲一个更残酷的现实： 👉 被淘汰的，从来不是能力不够的人。而是——没人愿意相信你、跟随你的人。今天，你可以很聪明。你可以懂AI。你甚至可以比别人更努力。但如果：客户不信你, 团队不跟你, 关系撑不住 👉 你再厉害，都很难变成结果。我过去40年，看过太多人：很会做事，但做不大很聪明，但赚不到钱很努力，但关系一塌糊涂问题在哪里？不是IQ。也不是EQ。 👉 是他们缺了一个东西：爱的智慧 Love Intelligence（LQ）我为什么会做这个课？不是因为我读了很多书。而是因为—— 👉 我曾经也“做对很多事，却没有把人生过好”。包括一段30年的婚姻。如果我当年懂爱的智慧，很多事情，结果会完全不一样。所以今天这个课程，不是理论。是我用几十年时间，走出来、痛出来、总结出来的一套方法。而且我把它做成： 👉 可以复制、可以应用、可以变现的系统很多人听到“爱”，会觉得很软。但我讲一句很现实的话： 👉 你赚不到钱，很可能不是因为你不够厉害，而是别人不愿意把钱给你。为什么？因为没有信任。所以你要记住这个公式：爱 → 信任 → 价值 → 钱 👉 如果你跳过前面两步， 👉 你后面会很辛苦。今天你在这里，有两个选择：选择一：听一听，感觉不错，然后回去继续原来的生活 👉 什么都不会改变选择二：认真学、用起来、甚至更深入 👉 把LQ变成你未来3–5年的核心能力我先讲清楚： 👉 今天这个只是“入门体验” 如果你真的要结果，你需要的是：系统，练习，反馈，应用所以在今天的课程后面，我会开放一个： 👉 LQ进阶课程 / Coaching Program 不是给所有人。只给那些：真正要改变的人愿意用的人要结果的人我不会push你。但我会让你看清楚一件事： 👉 未来，不是AI淘汰你是你没有“人性优势”淘汰你如果你今天听到一半，已经开始觉得： 👉 “这个东西，我应该早点学” 那很好。说明你已经感觉到了。最后我送你一句话，作为今天的开始：赢，不是赢在更聪明而是赢在——让人愿意跟你走。我们现在开始。 👉爱的智慧 Love Intelligence（LQ）

What Michael Jackson called "Human Nature" is actually 3 Forces

Human Nature song by Michael Jackson captures something most people feel but cannot explain. We want love. We want connection. We want to be understood. Yet at the same time, we protect ourselves, withdraw, build walls, and hesitate. So we keep asking one question: Why? Why do we push away what we actually want? Why do we overthink instead of act? Why do we know what is right… but still don’t do it? Most people think this “why” has no answer. But it does. And that answer is Love Intelligence (LQ). Because what we call “human nature” is actually three forces constantly interacting: Care, Courage, Connection. We care , so we desire love and meaning We lack courage , so we hold back, doubt, protect We break connection , so we feel alone even among people That’s the real “why.” Not because humans are complicated. But because we are imbalanced . When LQ is low: Care becomes attachment or fear Courage becomes avoidance Connection becomes distance So l...

Lots of Care but Little Courage and No Connection

A parent lied about an address to get a child into a “better” school. Why? Because of love? Yes. But also because of fear. Fear of losing out. Fear that “if I don’t do this, my child will fall behind.” This is where most people get it wrong. They think: “If I’m doing this for my child, it must be right.” But Love Intelligence is not just about intention. It is about alignment between care, courage, and truth . In this case: There is care (wanting the best for the child) But there is no courage (to accept the system, or find another path) And there is a break in integrity and connection (lying, bending rules) So this is not Love Intelligence at its highest. This is love mixed with fear . Real Love Intelligence would look different: It would ask: “What kind of example am I setting for my child?” “Am I teaching them to win… or to win at all costs?” “Will this decision make them stronger, or just more dependent on shortcuts?” Sometimes the hardest tr...

你不是从零开始

很多人卡住，不是因为能力不够，而是因为一直盯着问题看。越看，越乱。越想，越累。最后开始怀疑自己，甚至想放弃。我做培训辅导26年，看过太多人在这个点倒下。但其实，有一个很简单、马上可以用的方法：转念。当你觉得自己陷在泥潭里出不来时，不要再拼命找答案。先做一件事—— 把注意力，从问题，转回你自己。问自己两个问题：我一路走来，已经做到什么？有多少难关，其实我已经走过？你会突然发现一件事：你没有你想的那么弱，反而比你以为的更强。这个时候，我很喜欢做一件事：听 < 恭喜自己> 不是为了娱乐，而是提醒自己—— 该肯定自己了。很多人一生都在等别人认可，却忘了最重要的一件事：你有没有认可你自己？这，就是爱的智慧里面很关键的一点：关爱，不只是给别人，也要给自己。不是自恋，不是逃避问题，而是先把自己从低谷中拉出来，你才有力量再面对现实。当你学会这一点，你就不会那么容易被打倒，也不会那么容易放弃。因为你知道—— 你不是从零开始，你是带着一身经历，在继续前进。

我讲真话的原因

很多人不喜欢听这句话，但它很真实：当你真的想帮一个人，你会讲真话。当你只是想帮自己，你会讲他们想听的话。这就是为什么，大多数人“感觉被安慰”，却没有真正改变。因为他们听到的，是舒服，而不是真相。我写《爱的智慧》，不是为了让人感觉更好。我建立爱的智慧LQ系统，也不是为了让人“听得爽”。我的目的很简单—— 让人有能力，自己帮自己。不是依赖，不是崇拜，也不是短暂的激励。而是有一天，你可以在没有任何人提醒的情况下，做出更有爱、更有勇气、更有连接的决定。很多人以为“爱”是温柔，是包容，是不伤害。但真正的爱，包含三样东西：有时很温柔有时很坚定有时很直接，甚至不好听因为如果没有真话，就没有成长。没有成长，就没有改变。这也是为什么我很佩服 Thomas Sowell 95岁，还在想着帮助别人。不是为了被喜欢，不是为了证明自己，而是因为——那是他选择成为的人。我也很清楚自己要走的路。不是做一个让人喜欢的老师，而是做一个让人改变的老师。不是让人依赖我，而是让人越来越不需要我。如果有一天，你开始对自己诚实，开始做那些你一直逃避的决定，开始用爱，而不是情绪去面对人生，那你就已经在走爱的智慧LQ的路了。而那条路，不轻松，但很真实。

When to Tell the Truth and When to Say What They Want to Hear

We often are caught between telling the truth and telling what people want ot her. Thomas Sowell said: “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.” Simple. But uncomfortable. Because if we’re honest, most of the time people don’t reject truth, they avoid it. That’s exactly why I wrote Love Intelligence and built the Love Intelligence coaching system. Not to motivate people. Not to impress people. Not to make people feel good for a moment. But to do something much harder: To help people stop depending on others, and start helping themselves. Love, in the way most people understand it, is soft. But Love Intelligence is not soft. It means: -Saying what needs to be said, even when it’s not popular -Facing reality, even when it’s uncomfortable -Choosing growth over comfort Because without truth, there is no real care. Without courage, there is no real change. Without connection, there is no real imp...

Win Without Fighting: Master the Art of Effortless Leadership.

The corporate landscape is often described as a battlefield, but the greatest leaders know that the ultimate victory isn't about the fight, it’s about winning before the battle even begins. Master the timeless strategies of the world’s most famous military strategist in a modern leadership context. Join author and veteran coach Andy Ng for an intensive 1-day transformation. Leadership with Sun Tzu Art of War Upcoming Dates: * 4 May (Monday) – Confirmed session! 10 July (Friday) - Confirmed session! Venue: Holiday Inn Atrium Singapore (includes buffet lunch and tea breaks) Registration: Sign up here Why This Course? Most leadership training focuses on management theory. This course focuses on Strategic Generalship . In Sun Tzu’s world, the "enemy" isn't your competitors, it's the friction, lack of alignment, and inefficiency within your own team. What You Will Master: The 5 Power Principles: Aligning Purpose, Climate, Ground, Leadership, and Methods to crea...