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深度对话的力量：你的灵魂伴侣就在眼前

认识一个人50年，也可能从未真正了解他深度对话的力量夫妻可以结婚30年，同事可以共事20年，朋友可以认识大半辈子。每天都在说话，却可能从来没有真正进行过一次深度对话。什么是深度对话？就是当两个人愿意摘下面具，不再假装坚强，不急着表现自己，而是让对方看见真实的自己。比如丈夫回家告诉太太： “今天我在公司被人欺负了，我真的很难受。” 很多人的第一反应是安慰：“不要想太多。” 或者马上给建议：“下次聪明一点。” 这些都是好意，却不一定是他真正需要的。因为很多时候，他不是要你的答案，而是要你的理解。真正的深度对话，也许只是静静听他说，然后告诉他： “我明白，你今天一定很难受。我在这里。” 不要急着解决问题。不要批评。不要说教。甚至不需要马上帮助他。先进入他的世界，感受他的感受。这就是爱的智慧（LQ）：关爱（Care） ——愿意真正聆听。勇气（Courage） ——敢于展现自己的脆弱。连接（Connection） ——让两个人真正走进彼此的内心。这也是释放超级我 SuperME Unleashed 的意义。真正强大的人，不是永远表现得很强。而是强大到不需要再假装强大。也许你的灵魂伴侣，不需要到外面寻找。他可能就是与你生活了几十年的那个人，只是你们从来没有真正打开过自己的心。从今天开始，少一点建议，少一点判断，多一点聆听。不要只是聊天。开始一次真正的深度对话。因为人与人最深的连接，不是“我知道应该怎样帮助你”，而是： “在我面前，你可以放心做真正的自己。”

50 Years Without Deep Conversations

You Can Know Someone for 50 Years, and Never Really Know Them A husband and wife can be married for 30 years. Colleagues can work together for 20 years. Friends can know each other for half a lifetime. They talk every day. Yet they may never have had a deep conversation . We often mistake the frequency of conversation for the depth of connection. They are not the same. What Is a Deep Conversation? A deep conversation begins when we are willing to remove our masks. No pretending. No performing. No need to look strong, clever or successful. We allow another person to see something we normally hide, our fears, disappointments, insecurities, hopes and vulnerabilities. Imagine a husband comes home and tells his wife: “I was bullied at work today. I felt terrible.” What happens next? She may comfort him: “Don't worry about it.” Or advise him: “You need to be smarter next time.” Or redirect him: “We have more important things to worry about, ...

The Biggest Risk Is the One Your Board Cannot Imagine

The Biggest Risk Is the One Your Board Cannot Imagine Most companies believe they understand risk. They have internal controls. Risk registers. Audit committees. Enterprise Risk Management. Policies, procedures and compliance frameworks. Yet companies with all these things still suffer major failures. Why? Because sometimes the greatest risk is not the risk you failed to measure . It is the risk you failed to imagine. The Problem with Risk Registers Traditional risk management often begins by identifying known risks, assessing their likelihood and impact, and then designing controls to mitigate them. This is necessary, but it has a weakness. It encourages us to think about tomorrow using what we already know today. But the future rarely behaves exactly like the past. Imagine a board discussing a major investment. Management says: “There is only a 10% probability that this will fail.” That sounds reassuring. But what exactly does 10% mean? What if s...

6 Ways to have High Performing Boards

The Best Boards Don't Just Govern. They Make the Company Better. When people think about a high-performing board, they often think about compliance, controls and oversight . But that is only the beginning. As business becomes more complex, boards face increasing pressure from shareholders, regulators, employees and society. CEOs, meanwhile, expect their directors to contribute independent judgment, strategic perspective and experience—not simply attend meetings and approve resolutions. So what separates a board that merely functions from one that genuinely creates value ? 1. A Board Is Not a Collection of Impressive CVs You can put ten highly accomplished people around a table and still have an ineffective board. A high-performing board is a team . That requires the right mix of experience, expertise, personalities and perspectives. But diversity alone is not enough. Directors must be willing to challenge one another while maintaining mutual respect. Boards need both anal...

独立董事，不应该只是企业的“警察”

独立董事，不应该只是企业的“警察” 独立董事的工作是什么？监督管理层？控制风险？确保合规？在危险的时候说“不”？这些都对。但如果独立董事只会说“不”，那只发挥了一半的价值。在最近的新加坡董事协会（SID）董事大会上，吉宝主席、前星展集团CEO Piyush Gupta提出一个让我非常认同的观点：董事会不能只是“警察”。董事会还必须参与企业的战略、方向，并创造长期股东价值。这正好呼应我一直坚持的一个理念：企业治理，就是让企业跑得更快的“刹车”。想象一辆法拉利。强大的引擎让它跑得快。但是，如果没有可靠的刹车，你敢开到时速200公里吗？当然不敢。所以：好的刹车，不是让车跑得更慢。而是让你更有信心加速。企业也是一样。管理层是引擎，负责推动业务、寻找机会、创造增长。而好的独立董事，不应该坐在旁边一直喊： “不要！”, “太危险了！”, “不能做！” 真正有价值的独立董事，应该帮助管理层回答三个问题：会有什么问题？我们有没有看不到的东西？这项决定能不能创造长期、可持续的价值？ Piyush Gupta还分享了一个很有意思的星展银行案例。一些董事曾表示，他们不知道银行在中东业务上的一些损失。其实，相关资料已经呈交董事会。问题不是没有资料。而是资料太多，重要的信息被埋没了。这让我想到一个非常重要的董事会原则：真正的问题，不是我们有没有资料，而是我们有没有看见真正重要的东西。这正是独立董事能够创造价值的地方。不是只看报告。不是只打勾合规。而是：看见别人没有看见的风险。连接别人没有连接起来的点。挑战大家习以为常的假设。所以，我认为一个好的独立董事，必须知道什么时候说：停 STOP——风险太大，必须停。缓慢 SLOW DOWN——有些假设，还需要验证。更重要的是，也要知道什么时候说：冲 GO——风险已经看清楚，让我们前进。独立董事不是企业的另一个“警察”。更不是管理层的“橡皮图章”。他应该是另一双有经验的眼睛，看见管理层可能看不见的东西。因为真正好的企业治理，不是阻止企业前进。而是给企业更好的“刹车”，让它跑得更快、更稳、更远。

Did Zhuge Liang's Succeed because he Married the 'Right' Woman?

Zhuge Liang Prepared for Greatness Before Opportunity Arrived Most people know the famous story. Liu Bei visited Zhuge Liang three times at his humble cottage before Zhuge Liang finally agreed to come out of seclusion and help him. The rest is history. With Zhuge Liangs help, Liu Bei turned himself from zero to Emperor of the Shu Han kingdom in 14 years. But there is a more interesting question: Why was Zhuge Liang ready when Liu Bei finally came? It was not luck. Long before opportunity knocked on his door, Zhuge Liang had been quietly building the conditions for opportunity. He Put Himself in the Right Circle When Zhuge Liang settled in Jingzhou, he was a poor farmer. Although he read a lot, he knows nobody and is far away from the happenings in the world. As a result, he did not have a chance to work for any of the big guys at that time. Zhuge Liang knew that he had to do something. Either he change or he perish. Through an arranged marriage...

《牛来效应》：一部“烂片”教会我们的5个人性真相

《牛来效应》：一部“烂片”教会我们的5个人性真相一部制作粗糙、上映初期几乎无人问津的动画电影《牛来》，竟然逆袭成为现象级电影，票房突破5000万元人民币。为什么？它真正值得我们思考的，不是“烂片也能赚钱”，而是：人，是如何创造价值的？我把它总结为五个“牛来效应”。 1. 不完美效应：不完美反而让人参与完美让人欣赏，不完美却可能让人参与。《牛来》的粗糙成为话题，大家笑、评论、分享，甚至买票亲自体验。尤其在AI越来越容易制造“完美”的时代，真实的人性与不完美，反而可能更加珍贵。 2. 意义效应：人买的不只是产品，而是故事很多人买《牛来》的票，不只是为了看电影，而是为了参与这个社会话题： “我要亲自看看，它到底有多特别！” 所以，顾客买的不只是你的产品，更是产品对他的意义。 3. 连接效应：人都希望有归属感观众一起笑、一起吐槽、一起创造梗、一起分享。电影是制作人拍的，但“牛来现象”却是观众共同创造的。这就是连接的力量：完美吸引眼球，人性创造连接。 4. 无形价值效应：最值钱的东西，可能不在资产负债表上《牛来》的故事、真诚、勇气、话题性、归属感、社会参与——这些都是看不见的资产。不是所有有价值的东西，都出现在资产负债表上。人甚至可以为原本没有多少价值的东西，重新赋予巨大的价值。 5. 持续价值效应：爆红不等于竞争优势《牛来》最容易让人学错的一课，就是： “原来品质不重要。” 错。新鲜感可以带来流量，话题可以带来票房，但：爆红，不等于可持续的竞争优势。人性与不完美可以吸引注意，真正让价值持续下去的，仍然是内容、品质与实力。这也是领导者必须思考的问题：为什么成功？能否复制？有什么风险？这个价值能维持多久？这时候，战略与企业治理已经悄悄进入了我们的思考。真正的“牛来效应” 所以，不要复制《牛来》，要读懂《牛来》。它真正告诉我们的，是价值如何产生：不完美 → 意义 → 连接 → 价值 → 持续 AI可以创造越来越完美的作品，但人，才能赋予意义。而真正有智慧的领导者，不只是创造价值，更懂得让价值持续下去。

Your Independent Director Shouldn't Be a Policeman

Your Independent Director Shouldn't Be a Policeman What is the job of an Independent Director? To check compliance? Monitor management? Control risk? Say “No” when things become dangerous? Yes. But if that's all your Independent Director does, your board may be missing half its value. At the 2026 SID Directors Conference on 28 August 2026, Keppel Chairman and former DBS CEO Piyush Gupta made an important point: Boards cannot just be policemen. Boards are responsible for strategy, direction and creating long-term shareholder value. That made me think about one of my favourite analogies: Corporate governance is the brakes that allow businesses to go faster. Think about a Ferrari. What makes it fast? The engine? Of course. But would you drive it at 200 km/h without reliable brakes? Good brakes don't make a Ferrari slow. Good brakes give the driver the confidence to accelerate. Business works the same way. Management is the engine. Management creates ideas, pursues ...

I Don't Want to Be a Policeman on the Board

I Don't Want to Be a Policeman on the Board What is the real job of an Independent Director? Is it to check compliance? Ask difficult questions? Stop management from taking too much risk? Yes—but that's only half the job. At the 2026 SID Directors Conference on 28 August 2026, former DBS CEO and current Keppel Chairman Piyush Gupta made a point that really resonated with me: Boards cannot just be policemen. Their responsibility is also strategy, direction and creating long-term shareholder value. That's exactly how I see corporate governance. I describe it using a very simple analogy: Corporate governance is the brakes that allow a company to go faster. Think about a Ferrari. A powerful engine gives you speed. But would you dare to drive at 200 kilometres per hour without good brakes? Probably not. The better your brakes, the more confidently you can accelerate. Business is the same. Management provides the engine. Management drives growth. The board should...

The Niu Lai Effects: What the “Worst Movie” Teaches Us About Humanity and Value

The Niu Lai Effects: What the “Worst Movie” Teaches Us About Humanity and Value How does a movie go from almost nobody watching it to more than RMB50 million at the box office? That is the extraordinary story of Niu Lai (《牛来》). Released on 5 August 2026, the crudely animated movie earned only RMB3,420 on its opening day and about RMB7,169 over its first nine days. By 14 August, it was close to disappearing from cinemas. Then something strange happened. People started mocking it, talking about it, creating memes around it, and most importantly, buying tickets to experience it for themselves. By 29 August, Niu Lai had crossed RMB50 million, with around 1.8 million admissions. Recent reporting says the box office has continued to rise, with forecasts around RMB60–64 million. How could something criticised for being so crude become so valuable? I call this The Niu Lai Effects. 1. The Imperfection Effect We have been taught that better quality creates better results. Niu Lai challenges that...

Stop Selling What You Do. Sell Who Your Customer Can Become.

People buy three things: A Solution. A Shortcut. A Feeling. A solution removes pain. A shortcut gets them where they want to go faster and easier. A feeling allows them to imagine becoming someone better. And that third one may be the most powerful. People don't buy information. They buy transformation. They want to become someone with more money. More confidence. More certainty. More freedom. More influence. More control over their future. But millions of people wake up wondering: Should I act now—or wait? Should I push harder—or change direction? Why am I working so hard but getting so little? What should I do next? That's why I Don't Sell Corporate Governance If I tell an entrepreneur: “You need better corporate governance.” He may immediately think: Rules. Compliance. Committees. More paperwork. More cost. But ask him: “Would you like to grow faster without losing control?” Business owners don't real...