Letting Go: Adapted from Einzelgangergänger
Our civilization is in a state of ongoing strivings, in which control seems to be the highest virtue. Yet the more we control, the more we lose. The best way is to let go. That means not to control and let nature take its natural course.
As opposed to a control-obsessed society, Daoism revolves around letting go and going with the flow. At first glance, the act of letting go may seem a form of weakness, but according to Daoism, by a correct understanding of how to universe works, we can approach life more intelligently, more efficiently and go with the flow.
The power of letting go is a form of strength, it is of sophistication rather than force. Because letting things go is the key to let nature do the work. In this article, I would like to show you several ways the power of letting go.
The first one is the art of non-doing. This can be explained as effortless action, or the so called flow state, but also as knowing when to act and when not to.
We can't control everything. And many things happen when we stop controlling that. Let's take a tree, for example. We can plant it. We can water it. We can add some fertilizer and make sure it's exposed to enough sunlight. But any more intervention would only damage the process because we interrupt nature from doing its job.
Another example is attraction. The first step to attracting someone is simply shown ourselves so that the person we want to attract knows that we exist, then attraction either happens or not. When the attraction is there, one can easily blow it by taking too much action. Attraction is a natural phenomenon that is beyond our control.
Silence makes the heart grow fonder. That's why letting go is vital in relationships. Because by letting go, we give space to the forces of the universe to unfold. After a fight, for example, anger naturally arose and trust went. Trust has to grow back naturally. So letting go makes the difference between controlling and allowing.
The second one is embracing change. The Daoists were very aware that life falls in a constant movement between opposites, between high and low, light and dark, and yin and yang. Yet there isn't much we can do about it. And the most efficient way of living is simply moving along with the waves of existence. The flow of life and its transformations are inevitable.
Yet we see so many people cling to their circumstances in the metaphor of the river stream. They hold on tightly to a branch or a rock, afraid to let go because they want Complete control over their position. They simply don't trust the universe. And the consequence of this is a rigid lifestyle. They see life passing by including many opportunities for positive change. And they miss out on a lot of fun.
This non-acceptance of how things are is also the cause of people fighting against themselves. Because of certain societal expectations, people engage in a battle against their inherent selves instead of flowing along with the attributes that nature has given them. That's why we say follow your strengths instead of trying to repair your weakness.
Embracing change also applies to uselessness and usefulness, which of course depends on the circumstances. The concept of usefulness and uselessness is a relative one. What is useful in one situation would be useless in another and vice versa.
We ought to be willing to let go of things that are useless in one situation and adopt what is useful instead. That's how we make a change an ally and not an enemy.
The 3rd one is not focusing on outcomes. The Taoists observed that the focus on future outcomes has a negative effect on us. Focusing too much on the future makes us anxious. Our present levels become fueled by a desire for the uncontrollable result. And the more we crave that, the less we value the only thing we have, which is the present moment.
The last one is letting go of excess. In a society in which status is an ultimate concern, everyone wants to be at the top, not because it's necessarily the best place to be, but because we have collectively decided that high status is preferable. This also comes with a collective pursuit of the former and the collective aversion to the latter. But the tallest trees catch the most wind. And when we are at the Top, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to stay there, because everyone wants to take your position. It's stressful compared to the lower regions in which one lives more privately with less competition, fewer enemies, and in general, less effort.
The other extreme, however, is a place of deprivation. If we deliberately seek the absolute bottom, we become athletic, although in a different way. There is still a strong attachment, the attachment to deprivation. The question we can ask ourselves is, what do we truly need? A bird that nests in the forest once no more than one branch. And then a mouse that drinks from the pond drinks no more than a belly full. So if we aim for what we need and let go of access, we prevent possessions from becoming a prison cell that allows us to travel light.
When we stop striving, we give nature a space to unfold. And trusting the universe and accepting that it's ever-changing lies the opportunity to become loose and supple instead of rigid and brittle. The power of letting go means that we float along the stream without grasping for rocks and branches and that we can't lose that weight. So we can navigate through life with minimal effort.
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