To me, emotional Intelligence is simply to think of others before you do anything. It's simply to put yourself in the other person's shoes. We are not asking you to wear the person's shoes. We ask you to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a short while.
We know that when you put yourself in the other person's shoes, you will not be forcing or manipulating people. You also would not be doing tricks to lure people for you know that such tricks are common and people could also apply those tricks onto you.
Putting yourself in the other person's shoes is not about influencing people or attracting people to you. It's a genuine way of thinking of the other person before you do anything.
When you do this, you will be very effective in whatever you do. People will say that you are a nice person and they will like and respect you. We know that when people like and respect you, they will believe and trust you. With these, things get going, you are able to get what you want and also give that person what they want. It is truly win-win for all.
The following are the 4 most common ways to apply this emotional Intelligence Of putting yourself in the other person's shoes in your daily life:
1. In negotiating and bargaining, think of what the seller wants. Before you come up with a counter-proposal, you must know what do they want and whether your proposal will result in win-win for them.
For me when I want a lower price from the vendor, I simply ask the vendor what price does he think that I should pay if I want to get a good bargain and also get a good quality product and service. When I say this, the vendor usually will ask me what is my price. I would tell them I will not name a price because I would prefer to pay the price that is good for both of us. With this the vendor will automatically drop the price for me.
2. At the workplace, bosses often like to ask employees to work hard and go the extra mile and put the company's interests above their own personal interests. Many bosses do not know that by doing this they are not putting themselves in their employees' shoes. Because if the bosses were to think of their staff, they would first find out what do the staff want rather than tell the staff what does the company want.
Maybe the staff are overworked and they need a break. They are already putting the company's interest above theirs and yet the boss is not appreciative and want more. They will get angry and think the boss is just out to squeeze them.
As a boss, I will ask my employees to tell me what are the most important interests in their life, other than family, and what do you want from Your career in this company. The staff will automatically tell me what they want to achieve more in the company.
3. In conducting training and coaching, I would first find out what is my students level of understanding so that I can tailor-make the delivery of my content to their level.
4. When someone disagrees with me, I would put myself in their shoes by agreeing that their agreement is a good thing because it shows that there is no 100% in anything. I will say that we will agree to disagree but will work towards at least coming to agreement on some basic points. And the basic point is always we have good intentions and we want things to be better for everyone.
Ladies and gentlemen, putting yourself in the other person's shoes is a basic skill that we all possess. It is just that we often overlook this and instead think of 'creative' but manipulative ways to bring the other person over to our side. Stop doing this. You can only bring the other person to you when you put yourself in their shoes.
Written by Author Trainer Coach Andy Ng. Andy has a FREE short 2-hour seminar on every Saturday 2 to 4 pm at Zoom to help people find out what they want and want what they have. To book, message me Andy at +65 93672286 now or email to andythecaoch@gmail.com
Comments
Post a Comment