In our trainings, we impart to our participants 3 things that will bring us happiness. These 3 characteristics of life are interlinked, and you need to see them in totality:
1. Realizing that Nothing in this world is permanent, and everything is in a flux and subject to constant change
All things are impermanent, and everything is in the process of changing into something else.
The entire universe and the cosmos are in constant change from one state to another. Even the cells in our bodies are being reborn every moment as we are all in the process of ageing.
What this means is that anything that is unpleasant will not last, and realizing this when you're in hard times will make you feel happier. On the other hand, knowing that happiness will not last, we will treasure our happy moments more, and this alone will make us happier instantly.
In short, impermanence gives us happiness. This is in contrast to most people's wishful thinking that permanence makes us happy, which is never possible because nothing is permanent, and even if it is, we are never completely satisfied, which brings us to the next point... Unsatisfactoriness
Such greed and craving will lead us to a state of never being completely satisfied, or un-satisfactoriness. We are like a hungry ghost, forever hungry and never satisfied, no matter how much food we eat. Because everything in this world is impermanent, such thirst and hunger can never be quenched and we become even more unhappy.
However, knowing un-satisfactoriness can make us happy instantly if we know how to be contented and appreciate what we already have instead of non-stop chasing for the next illusion. In other words, instead of looking for permanent happiness, we look for constant happiness. To be happy we do not crave for things, instead we look at what we have and make the best out of it. For example, you may not have much money in the bank, but you will be happier than your rich friend for you are able to make more friends that are truthful to you and not befriend you because of your money. A poor man's happiness can be more lasting than a rich man's happiness simply because the rich man's richness will not last and the poor man's poverty will not last too.
3. Understand that We Do Not Have a Self, What We Have are just a combination of our Body, Mind, Perception and Consciousness.
Because all things are impermanent and un-satisfactory, there is thus no permanent or unchanging self
. The ‘Self’ that we perceive to exist is actually comprised of different mental and physical states, which are in a state of constant change due to impermanence and unsatisfaction.
Unfortunately, most people in this world do not understand this concept of Non-Self. Instead people develop all kinds of self concepts. All the unhappiness in this world arise because of self concept, like self-ego, self-preservation and self-protection. In extreme cases, fights and even wars break out whenever we think or feel that we are being attacked. Like when you post something on facebook and nobody likes it, you'll feel unhappy because you have a self concept that people must like your posting.
To turn ourselves from unhappy to happy, you just simply put yourself out of the picture. Whenever someone scolds you, criticizes you or mock at you, do not think that they are attacking you. They are just attacking the conditions of you (like how they perceive you). Realizing that you are not your 'self', i.e. there is no self, you will not feel unhappy because there is simply no self for them to attack! Instead they are just attacking themselves for they need to preserve their own self. So the next time you are being attacked, instead of hating that person, why not love them? Extend to them your love, and such loving kindness will make them stop the attacks.
In summary, the above 3 facts of life: impermanence, unsatisfaction and no-self are inter-linked. Once you know them, you can be instantly happy for you will appreciate every single moment (as nothing is permanent), be contented with what you have (no un-satisfaction) and most importantly, know that happiness is just a state of mind and not your 'self'. Since happiness is a journey and not a destination, you can continue this journey for it is never ending (impermanent), you don't need to crave for more satisfaction (for you can always have it over and over again), and it is not you that gives you happiness but the journey that makes you happy.
Written by Andy Ng, Chief Trainer at Asia Trainers, details are at www.asiatrainers.com. Thank you for reading this article. To continue receiving our articles, follow us in this blog. Readers that read this article also read the following related articles:
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