Most people give compliments that are neither mindful nor meaningful. Many are just flatteries, some are even sarcasms disguised as compliments. Others compliment just for the sake of it, with no intention or mindfulness behind.
Many people commented that when they give out compliments, the receiving person often block it."Oh, I am not perfect", or "Not really", "Today I am not in top form" or even start analysing the compliment and give their comment or rebuttal of it.
In fact, being given a compliment creates vulnerability. Some people may become wary of compliments at work, for the compliment from the boss often follows some kind of extra work and stress. In adolescence, people often get compliments and later were stalked or teased. Many people are not sure if the compliment was meant sincerely or was designed to make them the butt of a joke. That's why many people give compliments in a joking manner. They often don't take compliments seriously and rebut a compliment as if it were a joke in order to protect themselves from potential embarrassment.
Today let's learn how to give out Mindful Compliments - the kind of compliments that do not have any negative connotations or meanings.
Firstly, the compliment has to be specific, not general.
Secondly, it has to be timely and the timing must be right or the result will be hilarious. Like your compliment of my good looks when I'm in a hurry will make me suspicious instead.
Thirdly, centre the compliment around something that touched you, because this type of compliment promotes a sense of connection and intimacy. "I was touched by how you took the trouble to take those pictures and share with us. Thank you. "
Fourthly, compliment things that the person has done, not what he has. Many people are very uncomfortable about temporary or conditional qualities such as beauty or wealth because they know that such qualities are serendipitous intersections of hereditary and cultural norms. Besides, such qualities are impermanent and is just a temporary gift. In time to come people will age and their beauty will fade. That's why we don't compliment people for their beauty, but for what they have done to make themselves look beautiful.
Fifthly and lastly, compliment by stating your feelings, not your judgement or conclusion. This is because your judgement or conclusion may not be agreeable, but people can relate to feelings, even if it something they disagree. Say things like "I feel you look better in here" instead of "You look better in here".
So bear in mind the above 5 points and give out Mindful Compliments today. Related articles:
Comments
Post a Comment