How to Make People Like You in a Instant

We all have this experience: there is dispute between us and another person. If we insist that we are right, they will start to dislike us. Soon there will be quarrels and exchange of bad feelings.

We also know that it is hard to find agreement or consensus immediately. If we let such bad feelings linger on, relationships will be affected.

Whether we disagree with people, or they have complaints about us, if we want to diffuse tension and move people towards us, we must make them like us immediately.

The strategy is very simple: make yourself same as them. Psychologists told us that once people see sameness in us, their hostility towards us goes down immediately. Sameness creates rapport, with rapport there is trust. And if your tonality is warm, they will like you instantly.

Like this morning, I received a complaint call from a person that received our email blasts. She was angry but I told her that it must be a computer error, for our computer was too affected by a virus. Her anger immediately dissipated.

On the other hand, making yourself the same as them is also a very useful technique to drive away telemarketers from calling you non-stop. Whatever product they're selling, you just tell them that you too are working for a outsourced telemarketing company. You can propose to them that if they buy your product, you would buy their product too. The telemarketer will put down the phone immediately....

By Andy Ng, Chief Trainer at Asia Trainers, details of our sales and management courses are at here.

Comments

What an Executive Coach and Business Coach Does

The Secret Under the Mattress: Why would a 79-year Man Bet So Big on 4D?

It was 2007 when we discovered his secret. While moving my father’s mattress, we found them: heaps and heaps of Singapore Pools 4D tickets. They were stacked in layers, a paper trail of lost hopes. What shocked us most wasn’t just the volume, but the stakes. He wasn’t betting a few dollars for fun. He was punting hundreds of dollars per draw—nearly ten times a month. At the time, my siblings and I were furious. Our father was a 79-year-old retiree. We wondered, with a mix of anger and confusion, why a man at his stage of life would need to win such "big money." What was he going to do with the money? We saw it as a reckless habit, a sign of poor judgment in his final years. Some of us would say, "If I were to give him money to buy 4D, why don't I use the money and buy 4D myself? At least I have better discipline". It has taken me two decades, and the experience of raising my own three grown-up children, to finally see the truth that was hidden under that matt...

Head Bleeding when the Chair Falls

The Weight of Silence: What Were We Really Arguing About? My earliest memories are punctuated by the sound of shouting. In 1970, when I was barely 6 years old, I stood as a small witness to the fierce quarrels between my father and my late eldest brother Kah Yang (he passed away in 1971 at the age of 17). As I grew up, these contradictions became the soundtrack of our lives, usually centered around our family's shoe shop and clothing stalls in Chinatown. In the court of family opinion, the verdict was almost always the same: my father was "wrong." He was judged as a man who didn't fulfill his role, who wasn't "burdening" enough for the family’s success. But as I look back from the vantage point of 2026, I have to ask: Was that actually true? Let me finally put to rest what my father did right: the truths that were buried under decades of criticism: Unseen Labor: He worked grueling, long hours. I remember him hauling boxes of goods and equipment to set u...

Business and Money Tips

Search This Blog