How to Use Force and Get People Like You

Sun Tzu in the Art of War (which leaders can adopt) advocate the use of non-force to create lasting win-win battles. 

However, many people still like to use force. Mention the word 'force' and many would think of violence, aggressive behaviour and verbal abuse.  In fact the problem managers face today is staff are no longer obeying their instructions.  In other words, many supervisors, managers and directors have become too soft and are not using sufficient force in their work to get things done.

Over at Asia Trainers, we believe that the sufficient and appropriate use of force in your management and leadership will reap you dividends.  As revealed in our latest course "How to Be a Great Boss" on 1 March 2014 Saturday 9 am to 12.30 pm, you can use force and still get people to like you.  The 5 ways are:

1. Pre-empt People that You'll Not Be NICE.  Because NICE means Nothing Inside Me Cares Enough, and since you care for them, that's why you want to be real and tell them as it is.
2. Use a Variety of Ways - Voice, Body Language and Words.  Your words should be clear and authoritative, like "Get it Done TODAY, absolutely non-negotiable".  Your tone of voice should be firm and you should talk to them by looking (not staring) into their eyes firmly for at least 5 seconds.  
3. Use Both Carrot and Stick.  To be firm you must tell people what are the negative consequences (stick) if they don't follow you, and the rewards (carrot) if they do follow you.
4. Repeat Your Demand if they do not comply.  This time round, you can up the stakes (increase both the carrot and stick)
5. Scold.  Yes, if the above does not work, you have to be more forceful and this means tell them emotionally (or commonly called 'scolding').  SCOLD means Sincerely Commanding for Obedience to Lead them to get things Done. Note that this scolding is only done as a last resort as nobody likes to be scolded.  The important thing is after your scolding, you should offer your help.  In this way your staff will feel that you are actually a caring person and they will soon be moved by your assertiveness. 

So my friend, go and practise the above 5 ways to be Forceful in Your Management.  Remember, at the end of the day, if your employees fail to do their work, it also means that you have failed to do your work.  A manager is measured not by how nice he is, but by results and results alone.  Action speaks louder than words, and Forceful Action can Move Mountains.

By Andy Ng, Chief Trainer Coach at Asia Trainers, details of our courses are at here.