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Connections is Not Guanxi

What Connection Really Is — and Why It Is the Outcome of Love Intelligence

In the previous two articles, we looked at Care and Courage.
We saw that when you ask questions without care, your questions become stupid — not because of the words, but because people feel you are not truly interested.

We also saw that courage without care often backfires. You may be honest, but people ignore you because the truth was delivered without safety.

Now let’s look at the third C — Connection.

Many people misunderstand connection.

They think connection is about:
  • how long they’ve known someone
  • whether they worked together before
  • family ties or blood relationships
  • shared history or common background
But we all know this is not true.
You can be related by blood and still feel distant.
You can work with someone for years and still feel disconnected.
You can meet someone once and feel deeply understood.

This tells us one thing:
Connection has nothing to do with status, history, or proximity.

What Connection Really Is in Love Intelligence

In Love Intelligence, connection is about one thing and one thing only:
How you make people feel.

People may forget what you said.
They may forget what you did.
But they will never forget how you made them feel.

This is not a motivational quote.
This is how the human nervous system works.

Connection happens when people feel:
  • seen
  • safe
  • respected
  • understood
  • encouraged
That feeling creates trust.
Trust creates openness.
Openness creates influence.

Connection in Asking Questions and Giving Answers
Let’s bring this back to something very practical.

When you ask a question:
If you make the other person feel important, valued, and heard — connection grows.

If you make them feel interrogated, judged, or rushed — connection breaks.
When you give an answer:

If you make the other person feel safe and courageous enough to act on it — connection deepens.

If you make them feel small, foolish, or pressured — connection disappears.

This is why Love Intelligence matters.

Connection is not created by what you ask or what you say.
It is created by the emotional experience you leave behind.

Why Connection Takes Time — but Can Start Immediately

Real connection is not instant.
It is built through consistency, presence, and intention.

But while connection takes time to grow, it can start immediately.
The moment someone feels:

“This person cares about me,”
“This person respects my reality,”
“This person wants me to succeed,”
connection has already begun.

Care opens the door.
Courage moves the conversation forward.
Connection is the result.

This is why Love Intelligence places Connection as the third C, not the first.

5 Simple Ways to Build Connection Easily
Connection does not require charm, extroversion, or charisma.
It requires intentional emotional awareness.

Here are five simple but powerful ways to build connection:
1. Make people feel important, not interrupted
When someone speaks, don’t rush them.
Presence builds connection faster than words.

2. Acknowledge before responding
Before giving advice or opinions, acknowledge their situation.
People connect with those who understand them first.

3. Encourage courage, not dependency
When you respond, help people feel capable, not reliant on you.
Connection grows when people feel stronger, not smaller.

4. Be consistent, not impressive
Connection is built through reliability, not dramatic gestures.
Small, steady care beats occasional intensity.

5. Leave people emotionally better than you found them
After every interaction, ask yourself:
“Do they feel lighter, clearer, or more confident?”
If the answer is yes, connection is forming.

The Full Picture of Love Intelligence
Now you can see how the 3Cs work together:
Care makes people feel safe
Courage allows truth and progress
Connection is the trust that remains

Without Care, questions fail.
Without Courage, truth is avoided.
Without Connection, nothing lasts.

Love Intelligence is not about being emotional.
It is about being human, intentional, and aware.

In the next article, we will bring all three Cs together and show how Care, Courage, and Connection work as a complete system in leadership, sales, service, and everyday life.

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