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For much of my life, I thought love was a feeling. I thought love was something you felt when people appreciated you, supported you, or cared for you. I believed that if the feeling was strong enough, relationships would last, teams would work well together, and life would somehow fall into place. But life taught me a different lesson. Over nearly four decades of working with people, I saw intelligent leaders fail because they could not connect with others. I saw talented individuals lose opportunities because they lacked trust and influence. I saw families drift apart, not because there was no love, but because there was no understanding. That experience forced me to reflect deeply. What was missing? Why do good people still hurt each other? Why do relationships break down even when both parties once cared? The answer I discovered was simple, yet profound. Love is not merely a feeling. Feelings come and go. Some days we feel loving; other days we do not. If love is only a feeling, the...

Nowadays, there are not many comedies worth watching. Yet people still long for a good laugh. The other day, I found myself laughing uncontrollably as a friend shared how they created their videos. There was no script. No professional comedian. No carefully crafted punchline. Just a simple story told honestly. And somehow, it was hilarious. It reminded me that the best comedy is not found on a stage. It is found in everyday life. The funniest moments are often the most genuine moments. A misunderstanding. A spontaneous remark. A child's innocent comment. A friend's unexpected reaction. Those moments are candid, authentic, and real. Years later, we may forget the movie we watched. But we still remember that moment when everyone laughed until tears came out. Why? Because laughter is connection. And connection is one of the highest forms of Love Intelligence. When we are fully present, we notice the beauty, humour, and humanity around us. Life becomes lighter. Relationships become...

A SuperME does not just see people. A SuperME sees the beauty, potential, and greatness within people, often before they can see it themselves. When others doubt them, we believe in them. When others criticize their weaknesses, we remind them of their strengths. When others focus on what is missing, we focus on what is possible. This is Love Intelligence in action. It is Care:  taking the time to truly see another human being. It is Courage:  speaking words of encouragement when it is easier to stay silent. It is Connection:  helping someone feel valued, seen, and understood. No amount of money can buy this. No AI can automate this. No technology can replace this. Today, try a simple experiment: Praise one person ten times. Not with empty flattery, but with sincere appreciation. Notice their effort. Acknowledge their character. Recognize their growth. Celebrate their contribution. You may think you are giving them confidence. But something else happens...

Love Intelligence (LQ) creates raving fans because people do not become loyal to products. They become loyal to how you make them feel. A product can satisfy.  A service can delight. But only a human connection can create a raving fan. When viewed through the lens of LQ, the process is simple: 1. Care Creates Trust Most businesses focus on transactions. Raving fans are created when customers feel genuinely cared for. Not "customer service."  Not scripts.  Not "Have a nice day." Real care. When a customer feels: "This person sees me." Trust begins.  Trust is the foundation of every raving fan. 2. Courage Creates Memorable Moments Most service people play safe. Raving fans are often created when someone has the courage to do what is right rather than what is required. Examples: Staying back after work to solve a customer's problem. Admitting a mistake immediately. Refunding without arguments. Telling the customer the truth even w...

Why do smart leaders fail despite having more technology, more data, and more intelligence than ever before? In an age where Artificial Intelligence can generate reports, analyze information, and automate decisions, many organizations are facing a surprising challenge. Employee engagement is falling, burnout is rising, and trust is becoming increasingly fragile. The problem is not technology. The problem is that many leaders are becoming technologically stronger while becoming emotionally weaker. Drawing on research from Gallup and Google Project Aristotle, real-world case studies from healthcare, banking, customer service, and AI transformation initiatives, as well as the author's experience in KPMG Management Consulting and corporate leadership, this book explores the human capabilities that remain essential in the AI era. Inside, you will discover: • Why intelligent leaders sometimes struggle to inspire trust • The hidden reason many AI initiatives encounter resistance • What hi...

The 30 Things That Destroy Love Intelligence Love Intelligence is Care, Courage & Connection 10 Things NOT to Do with Care Care is not control. 1.       Don't try to fix everything for the other person. 2.       Don't treat adults like children, and vice versa. 3.       Don't assume you know what is best for them. 4.       Don't give unsolicited advice all the time. 5.       Don't use guilt to make them change. 6.       Don't sacrifice yourself and expect repayment. 7.       Don't keep score of what you have done. 8.       Don't confuse rescuing with caring. 9.       Don't make their happiness your responsibility. 10. Don't use "I'm doing this for you" as a justification for control. Care without boundaries becomes control. 10 ...

Love Intelligence is simple: Care. Courage. Connection. Yet many relationships become confusing, chaotic, and even deceptive because these three qualities are used wrongly. 1. When Care loses its boundaries, it becomes control. "I only want what's best for you" becomes an attempt to tell the other person how to live. 2, When Courage loses its wisdom, it becomes attack. "I'm just being honest" becomes criticism, blame, and hurtful words. 3. When Connection loses its independence, it becomes dependency. "I can't live without you" becomes fear, clinginess, and the loss of self. This is why many relationships suffer. Care turns into control. Courage turns into conflict. Connection turns into dependency. And love slowly turns into confusion, chaos, and cheating—not necessarily cheating with another person, but cheating ourselves by hiding our true feelings and pretending everything is fine. True Love Intelligence is different. It is: Care without co...

当关爱、勇气和连接用错了，就会变成混乱、冲突与欺骗 LQ（爱的智慧）其实很简单： Care（关爱）、Courage（勇气）和 Connection（连接）。 问题从来不在于这三个原则太复杂。 问题在于，很多人在关系里把它们用错了。 于是，爱的智慧变成了混乱、冲突与欺骗。 当关爱（Care）用错了 真正的关爱，是希望对方成长。 错误的关爱，是控制。 你说： “我是为你好。” 但实际上，你是在要求对方按照你的方式生活。 你不断给予建议、不断干涉、不断安排。 最后，对方感受到的不是爱，而是压力。 关爱变成控制。 当勇气（Courage）用错了 真正的勇气，是诚实面对问题。 错误的勇气，是把伤人的话包装成真诚。 有人说： “我只是讲真话。” 于是开始批评、指责、攻击。 他们以为自己很勇敢。 其实只是情绪发泄。 真正的勇气不是伤害别人。 而是在表达真实想法的同时，依然尊重对方。 勇气变成冲突。 当连接（Connection）用错了 真正的连接，是理解和信任。 错误的连接，是依赖和讨好。 害怕失去对方，于是不断迎合。 不敢表达自己的需要。 不敢说“不”。 最后失去了自己。 这种关系看起来很亲密， 实际上只是彼此依赖。 连接变成纠缠。 为什么很多关系最后会变得混乱？ 因为关爱变成控制。 因为勇气变成攻击。 因为连接变成依赖。 于是， 关爱带来压力， 勇气带来争吵， 连接带来束缚。 关系开始出现混乱（Confusion）、冲突（Chaos）和欺骗（Cheating）。 欺骗不一定是外遇。 很多时候， 是欺骗自己的感受， 隐藏自己的想法， 假装一切都很好。 真正的爱的智慧 爱的智慧不是： “我爱你，所以你要听我的。” 也不是： “我很诚实，所以我可以伤害你。” 更不是： “我离不开你，所以我要抓紧你。” 真正的爱的智慧是： 用关爱帮助彼此成长； 用勇气面对真实问题； 用连接创造自由与信任。 当两个人都这样做时， 关系就不再只是相爱。 而是一起成长。 因为爱的最高境界， 不是拥有彼此， 而是成就彼此。 这就是LQ。 Care without control. Courage without attack. Connection without dependency. 这就是爱的智慧。

The Unshakable Ledger The training market is full of mirrors. If you stand in it long enough, you will eventually see a version of yourself that is tempting, lucrative, and completely hollow. They call it "smart business," but your soul knows it by another name: a compromise. I am not a perfect man. I have my weaknesses, my blind spots, and moments in my life where the relentless pursuit of success made me blur the lines of my own values. But there is a difference between stumbling on the path and abandoning the compass altogether. To me, being a SuperME means striving to be an integral, whole person. True integration means your inside matches your outside. It is the very definition of integrity. When you are anchored in Love Intelligence (爱的智慧) , your life is guided by Care, Courage, and Connection —not just in how you treat others, but in how honestly you look at yourself in the mirror. In my life, that compass has two unbreakable anchors. One is at home; the other is in m...

Love Is Growing Together For any relationship to last, both people must be growing. Love is not one person giving and the other person receiving. Nor is it taking turns to be the giver and the receiver. True love exists when both people are becoming better versions of themselves, and the relationship becomes a space where that growth is possible. When one person grows while the other remains stagnant, the relationship eventually becomes strained. When both stop growing, the relationship may survive, but it slowly loses its vitality. The strongest relationships are those where two people i nspire each other to learn, improve, and evolve. This is where Love Intelligence (LQ) matters. Love Intelligence is not merely about feelings. It is the ability to bring Care, Courage, and Connection into a relationship. Care for each other's well-being. Courage to speak the truth, face challenges, and support growth . Connection that allows both people to understand, trust, and uplift one anothe...

企业合并，我们分离 1987年的莱佛士坊1号（1 Raffles Place），玻璃幕墙上映照着无数年轻人的野心。那年我25岁，进入她所在的公​​司实习，因而结识了艾米Amy（不是她真名）。 虽然因为服了两年半的兵役，我在职场上比她晚了两年起步，但我们同龄，而且异常投缘。1988年10月，她为我庆祝25岁生日，那天点燃了我们之间整整五个月的甜蜜恋情。我们带彼此见了家人，连最疼爱我的伯母也见过了她。那时的爱，单纯而笃定。 然而，1989年3月，她动身去美国旅行三个月。在樟宜机场，我陪着她的几位男性朋友一起送她出境。那时的我并不知道，那一趟远行，她不仅是奔向未知的风景，更是去重温一段旧梦——去见她的前男友。 命运的讽刺 就在她远赴重洋期间，职场迎来了一场大变动：我们各自的公司竟然宣布合并了。 办公室里，同事们纷纷拍着我的肩膀祝贺：“你小子太幸运了！公司合并后，你天天都能在公司看到女朋友了。” 我表面上微笑着，心里却泛起一阵莫名的寒意。 同年7月她回国后，带回来的不是重逢的喜悦，而是无尽的疏离。在纸面上， 两家公司越走越近；在现实中，我们却越飘越远 。到了9月，这段关系画上了句号。公司合并了，我们却彻底“解体”了。 1990年1月，我买了人生第一辆二手尼桑 Sunny 轿车。买车后的几天，我开着它去了她家。我没有纠缠，也没有质问，只是看着她的眼睛，郑重地送上我最真诚的祝福。我知道，一切都结束了。 时光流逝，再次偶遇已是1997年。在我担任导师的一场讲演会上，我们不期而遇。短短几分钟的交谈中，她告诉我她已婚并育有两个孩子；我也分享了自己结婚三年、尚无子嗣的现状。 那是我此生最后一次见到艾米。看着她离去的背影，我忽然想起1989年分手时她眼神里的笃定。她不是出于恶意而离开，她只是找到了属于她真正的归宿。 爱的智慧与“超级我”的觉醒 如今回望那个开着旧轿车默默离去的25岁背影，我才明白，那场心碎是我人生中关于“爱的智慧”（Love Intelligence）的第一堂课。它包含三个核心： 关爱（Care）、勇气（Courage）与连结（Connection） 。 关怀： 真正的关怀不是占有。我爱她，意味着我希望她得到真正的幸福，即便那份幸福里没有我。 勇气： 面对感情的终点，不陷于怨恨，而是勇敢地驱车前往，只为送上一句体面的告别，这需要极大的心胸。 连结： 曾经相爱的五个月...

Firms Merged, We Separate The glass facade of 1 Raffles Place used to reflect nothing but ambition. It was 1987, and as a young intern stepping into the corporate world, my mind was sharp, focused, and ready for the climb. But life has a way of introducing us to people who alter our trajectory entirely. That was the year I met Amy (not her real name).  Because of the 2.5 years of National Service that all Singaporean men give to the nation, Amy was two years ahead of me in her career, despite us being the exact same age. She was poised, capable, and confident. Yet, when we spoke, the corporate veneer melted away. We just clicked. By October 1988, on my 24th birthday, that connection deepened. She treated me to a birthday celebration, and from that evening on, our hearts were intertwined. For five beautiful months, we lived a quiet, sweet romance. We integrated our lives, sharing Sunday dinners and introducing each other to our families. I even brought her to meet my Godmother, a wo...

In 《论语·季氏篇》，, "君子有九思”, meaning a virtuous person must have 9 Reflections: 1. 视思明 (When seeing, think clearly) See things objectively and accurately. Do not jump to conclusions based on assumptions. LQ Connection: Care Love Intelligence begins with truly seeing people rather than judging them. 2. 听思聪 (When listening, listen wisely) Listen deeply and understand what is being said — and what is not being said. LQ Connection: Connection Many people hear words. Few people hear emotions. LQ teaches us to listen with both ears and heart. 3. 色思温 (Keep your expression warm) Your facial expression should bring comfort rather than fear. LQ Connection: Care A smile, gentle eye contact, and warmth create emotional safety. Trust starts here. 4. 貌思恭 (Maintain respectful conduct) Treat others with dignity and respect. Respect is not weakness. It is strength under control. LQ Connection: Courage + Connection 5. 言思忠 (Speak truthfully and sincerely) Before speaking, ask: "Is this true?" ...

我人生回报率最高的一项投资 这些年，我投资过股票、信托，课程、事业和书籍。 但回头看，我回报率最高的一项投资，不是股票，也不是房地产，而是——爱的智慧（LQ）。 因为它本金很低。 一句关心的话，一次真诚的倾听，一个善意的举动，都可以开始。 但它的回报却很高。 它让我建立信任，收获友谊，创造机会，也让更多人愿意与我合作。 更重要的是，它像 复利一样增长 。 今天帮助一个人，明天影响更多人，信任不断流动，价值不断扩大。 股票可能下跌，市场可能波动。 但关爱、理解和利他所创造的价值，却会一直留在人们心中。 经过近30年的培训与辅导，我越来越相信： 财富从来不只是金钱，而是人与人之间的信任流动。 AI可以生成内容，却无法真正关心一个人。 AI可以分析数据，却无法建立真诚的连接。 因此，我相信未来最值得投资的，依然是爱的智慧。 理解、包容和利他， 就是爱的智慧。

The Best Investment I Ever Made Over the years, I’ve invested in stocks, courses, books, and businesses. But the best investment I ever made was in Love Intelligence (LQ). Recently, I saw a slide listing the traits of a good investment: low capital, high return, compounding growth, low risk, easy access, and happiness. It struck me that Love Intelligence fits them all. It requires very little capital. A kind word, a listening ear, or a genuine act of care costs almost nothing. Yet the returns can be enormous. LQ has helped me build trust, deepen relationships, create opportunities, and connect with people in ways money alone never could. Like compound interest, the effects keep growing. A person you help today may help someone else tomorrow, and years later that goodwill may return in ways you never expected. Unlike stocks or property, the value of kindness never crashes. Even if no one repays you, you become a better person through the act itself. Most importantly, it brings...

Practical Tools to Apply Love in Conflict and Teams (from “The Love Intelligence Manager”)  1. The Love Conflict Method  Use when tension rises:   Pause your reaction   Name the real emotion   Show grace (“I understand why you feel this  way”)   Look for a common purpose   Decide together  2. The 3-Minute Connection Ritual  Start meetings with:   a thank you   a short acknowledgment   a shared intention  The room energy changes instantly.  3. The “Ally Reframe”  Instead of asking:  “How do I win?”  Ask:  “How do we win together?”  This single question dissolves the ego and reveals  solutions.