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At its heart, Dear You (《阿嬷的情书》) is about one thing: Love. Not the dramatic love we see in fairy tales, but the quiet, enduring love that exists in everyday life. The movie portrays the l ove between husband and wife , a love that stays long after the excitement fades. It shows the love between friends: the kind that stands beside you when life becomes difficult. It reveals the love among people from the same hometown:  a bond built on shared memories, culture, and belonging. Most touching of all, it shows love between people who have never met. Through a letter, a story, and a sincere heart, strangers become connected. And then there is the love that spans 18 years. Eighteen years is long enough for people to change, for cities to transform, and for promises to be forgotten. Yet some love remains.  Not because it is convenient. Not because it is easy.  But because it is chosen, again and again. That is why this movie moves so many people. It reminds us that love takes ...

很多人看完《给阿嬷的情书》（ Dear You ），会被里面的情节感动，会被那些跨越时空的书信触动。 但如果要用一个字来概括整部电影的核心，我认为就是： 爱。 不是轰轰烈烈的爱。 不是海誓山盟的爱。 而是那些平凡却真实存在于人间的爱。 1. 电影里有夫妻之间的爱。 那是一种陪伴的爱。年轻时也许有激情，但岁月流逝后，剩下的是相互扶持、彼此照顾、不离不弃。 真正的爱，不是我爱你的时候你刚好年轻漂亮， 而是当岁月在彼此脸上留下痕迹时，依然愿意陪你走下去。 2. 电影里也有朋友之间的爱。 朋友未必天天见面， 但在你需要的时候，他愿意伸出援手； 在你跌倒的时候，他愿意陪你走一段路。 真正的友情，不是锦上添花，而是雪中送炭。 3. 电影里还有同乡之间的爱。 大家来自同一个地方，拥有共同的记忆、共同的语言、共同的文化。 这种连接超越了利益，是一种“我们是一家人”的归属感。 它提醒我们： 人与人之间最大的财富， 往往不是金钱， 而是人与人之间的信任和情义。 4. 电影更让人感动的是，它展现了 素未谋面的人之间的爱。 有些人从来没有见过面，没有血缘关系，甚至没有任何利益关系。 但因为一封信、一个故事、一份真诚，彼此的生命竟然产生了连接。 这是一种无条件的善意。 也是人性最珍贵的部分。 它告诉我们， 爱从来不一定要建立在认识之上， 有时候只是因为理解，就足以让两颗心靠近。 5. 而最令人动容的，莫过于电影里那份 横跨十八年的爱。 十八年，足以让一个婴儿长大成人； 足以让一座城市发生巨大变化； 也足以让许多人忘记曾经说过的话。 但有些爱，却能够穿越时间。 它不会因为距离而消失， 不会因为岁月而褪色， 不会因为等待而枯萎。 因为真正的爱，从来不是一种情绪， 而是一种选择。 一种年复一年、日复一日的选择。 这也是为什么《阿嬷的情书》能够感动无数观众。 因为它让我们看见： 爱的形式可以不同， 但爱的本质始终一样。 夫妻之爱，是陪伴。 朋友之爱，是支持。 同乡之爱，是归属。 陌生人之爱，是善意。 跨越十八年的爱，是承诺。 而这一切，都指向同一个答案： 做人要有情有义。 在《爱的智慧》（Love Intelligence, LQ）里， 我把这种“情”和“义”总结为三个字： Care（关爱）、Courage（勇气）、Connection（连接）。 关爱，让我们愿意理解别人； 勇气，让我们愿意为爱承...

Dear Andy, You are the only person who has walked with me every single day of my life. When others came and went like seasons, you remained through every sunrise and every storm. 1. You never left. Friends moved on, colleagues changed, and relationships evolved, but you stayed beside me through every triumph and every heartbreak. 2. You carried my dreams when no one could see them. When the world measured results, you protected possibilities. 3. You forgave me more times than I deserved. For every mistake, every detour, every missed opportunity, you quietly whispered, "Begin again." 4. You turned pain into wisdom. The wounds that could have made me bitter became lessons that made me kinder. 5. You chose courage over comfort. You walked away when staying would cost your soul. You stood for what was right, even when standing alone. 6. You discovered that love is not something to receive. It is something to become. And in becoming it, you found your true wealth. 7. You are the a...

Most people understand the Law of Attraction. They know that what they focus on expands. They know that positive thoughts, clear goals, and strong intentions attract desired outcomes. The problem is not that they don't know the Law of Attraction. The problem is that while trying to activate the Law of Attraction, they unknowingly activate the Law of Distraction (LoD) . The Law of Distraction happens when we become so obsessed with the outcome that we lose sight of the people, relationships, and actions that actually create the outcome. Example 1: At Work A manager wants a promotion.  He reads books on success, attends courses, and constantly visualizes himself becoming a director. Nothing wrong with that. But soon, his attention shifts entirely to his own advancement.  He stops listening to his team. He becomes impatient when colleagues need help. Every conversation becomes transactional: "How can this person help me get promoted?" Ironically, the more he chase...

One of the most memorable lines from the movie Dear You (《给阿嬷的情书》) is: “做人要有情有义。” Be a person of affection and righteousness. Simple words. Yet within them lies a profound life philosophy that echoes exactly what Love Intelligence (LQ) seeks to teach. Today, we live in an age where people are becoming smarter, faster and more connected than ever before. Artificial Intelligence can answer questions, write reports, compose music and even hold conversations. Yet many people feel more disconnected than ever. Why? Because intelligence alone is not enough. A person may be highly educated, highly skilled and highly successful, yet still struggle in relationships, leadership and life. This is where Love Intelligence comes in. In Chinese culture, “情” is not merely emotion. It is care, compassion, empathy and the ability to understand another person's heart. This is the first pillar of LQ: Care . When we genuinely care, people feel seen, valued and respected. But “情” alone is not enough. ...

Why Every Sun Tzu Student Should Learn Yijing Whenever I conduct a course on Sun Tzu's Art of War, participants are often fascinated by the strategies, tactics and timeless wisdom that have guided leaders, generals and businesspeople for over 2,500 years. However, I always remind them of one important fact: Sun Tzu did not create strategic thinking. He inherited it from something much older. That source is Yijing (I Ching), often regarded as the foundation of Chinese philosophy, strategy and leadership thinking. Many people know that Sun Tzu teaches us how to win. But fewer people realize that before we can choose a strategy, we must first understand the situation we are facing. This is where Yijing comes in. Sun Tzu answers the question: "What should I do?" Yijing answers the more fundamental question: "What is really happening?" Think about the decisions leaders face every day: Should I expand or consolidate? Should I confront or cooperate? Should I invest now...

如果我32年前懂得爱的智慧，我或许会用不同的标准选择和经营关系。 今天回头看，决定一段关系能否走到最后的，从来不是爱得有多深，而是双方有没有能力在漫长岁月里持续成长。 为什么聪明人也会选错伴侣？因为他们用短期指标选择长期队友。 选择伴侣，不是在谈恋爱，而是在选择长期博弈的队友 很多人以为爱情靠感觉维持，但事实上，真正能够走几十年的关系，本质上是一场长期博弈。 在《爱的智慧》中，我常说： > 爱不是一种感觉，而是一种能力 。 爱的智慧，就是在 长期关系中持续展现关爱（Care）、勇气（Courage）和连接（Connection）的能力。 热恋其实不难。 困难的是： 十年后还能不能尊重对方？ 冲突时还能不能保持理性？ 失望时还能不能选择善良？ 压力来临时还能不能守住原则？ 这些都不是情绪的问题，而是 品格的问题。 很多人选择伴侣时，看的是短期价值： 好不好看 有没有钱 有没有地位 带出去有没有面子 这些指标在恋爱初期或许重要， 但放到三十年的婚姻里，它们的价值会快速折旧。 真正决定关系质量的，是长期价值： 是否善良 是否愿意成长 是否能够承担责任 是否拥有正直的人格 是否能够处理冲突而不是逃避冲突 而这些，正是爱的智慧的核心。 因为关爱Care让我们愿意理解对方， 勇气Courage让我们敢于面对问题， 连接Connection让两个人能够共同成长。 我经历过30年的婚姻，也经历过婚姻的结束。 如果今天有人问我： 「选择伴侣最重要的条件是什么？」 我的答案可能很简单： 不是财富，不是外貌，不是学历。 而是这个人有没有爱的智慧。 因为外貌会改变， 财富会起伏， 地位会消失， 但一个拥有高爱的智慧的人， 即使遇到风雨， 依然会选择善良； 即使面对诱惑， 依然会选择正直； 即使关系出现裂痕， 依然愿意沟通和成长。 长期博弈的终极秘密，从来不是找到一个完美的人。 而是找到一个 愿意与你一起成长，并且拥有爱与正直的人。 因为所有关系最终都会回归到同一个问题： 当激情退去以后，剩下来的是什么？ 如果剩下来的是关爱，勇气和连接， 那么这段关系，才真正拥有穿越岁月的力量。

Looks Fade, Wealth Fluctuates, but Only One Thing Determines How Far a Relationship Will Go We live in a world that often teaches us to choose partners based on short-term indicators. Is he attractive? Is she successful? How much does he earn? Will he make me look good in front of others? These questions may matter at the beginning of a relationship, but they become far less important when life unfolds over decades. Because every meaningful relationship is, in reality, a long game. And in every long game, the rules are different. In short-term games, people can pretend. They can impress. They can hide their flaws and exaggerate their strengths. After all, if there is no expectation of a future together, there is little incentive to be completely authentic. But long-term relationships reveal everything. Time has a way of exposing character. Pressure has a way of revealing integrity. Difficulties have a way of uncovering what lies beneath the surface. The person who appeared perfect duri...

Most leaders can quote Sun Tzu: "Know yourself, know others, and you need not fear the result of a hundred battles." But many misunderstand what it means. They think it is about knowing: * Their strengths * Their weaknesses * Their competitors That is only the surface. In the corporate world, "Know Yourself, Know Others" is really about understanding **human motivations**. Why does one employee embrace change while another resists it? Why does one stakeholder support your proposal while another quietly opposes it? Why do capable people sometimes create unnecessary conflict? The answer is often not competence. It is fear, incentives, values, aspirations, and perceptions. The most effective leaders understand that people rarely resist change itself. They resist: * Losing control * Losing relevance * Losing recognition * Losing certainty This is where many leadership approaches fail. They focus on processes, systems, and KPIs. But Sun Tzu understood that every strategy...

The most misunderstood Sun Tzu strategy is not "Know Yourself, Know Others" or "All Warfare is Based on Deception." It is:  "To Win Without Fighting" (不战而屈人之兵) Most people interpret this as: Avoiding conflict Being nice Compromising Giving in Seeking peace at all costs That is not what Sun Tzu meant. What Most People Think "Win Without Fighting" means: "Let's not argue."  or  "Let's keep everyone happy." This creates weak leadership. Sun Tzu was never advocating passivity. What Sun Tzu Actually Meant Sun Tzu meant: Create such a strong strategic position that fighting becomes unnecessary. The opponent cooperates because resistance no longer makes sense. The customer buys because trust has already been built. The team follows because they see the direction clearly. The stakeholder supports because interests have been aligned. You still win. You simply don't need the battle. Win with...

Many people think independence means not listening to others. It does not. True independence means being able to hear many voices without losing your own. Today, we are surrounded by influences: Social media tells us what to think. Friends tell us what to do. Society tells us what success should look like. AI can even tell us what to say and write. The greatest danger is not that others influence us. The greatest danger is that we no longer know what we truly think, feel, and believe. What Is an Independent Mind? An independent mind can: Think without blindly following. Feel without being controlled by emotions. Decide without seeking constant approval. Change when evidence changes. Stand alone when necessary. An independent mind is neither stubborn nor rebellious. It is clear. Why Most People Lose Their Independence Many people become dependent on: 1. External Validation "I am valuable only if others approve of me." 2. External Authority ...

Buddhism's Four Immeasurables and Love Intelligence (LQ) 1. Loving-Kindness (慈) → CARE Buddhism:  May all beings be happy. LQ:  Care for people genuinely. Examples:  Listening attentively,  Encouraging others,  Being patient,  Giving recognition At work:  A manager notices an employee struggling and asks: "How are you coping?"  rather than  "Why are your numbers down?" This is Care in action. 2. Compassion (悲) → CARE + COURAGE Compassion is not pity. Compassion says: "I feel your suffering, and I want to help." Many people have empathy. Few have compassionate courage. Example:  A leader notices burnout. Low LQ:  "Everyone is stressed." High LQ:  "Let's redesign the workload." This requires courage. This is why Love Intelligence goes beyond empathy.  It includes action. 3. Appreciative Joy (喜) → CONNECTION This may be the most neglected quality today. Modern society teaches comparison. Buddhism teaches celebration. Instead ...

The song "Flying Without Wings" is actually a beautiful expression of what I would call Love Intelligence (LQ) , even though it never uses the term. The song is not really about romance. It is about discovering the deeper things that give life meaning. That is exactly what Love Intelligence seeks to do. 1. Care: Seeing What Truly Matters The song begins by saying: Everybody's looking for that something One thing that makes it all complete. Many people spend their lives chasing: money,  status, promotions, possessions Yet the song reminds us that fulfillment is often found in: a child's face a loved one's eyes friendship shared moments simple experiences This is Care . Love Intelligence begins when we pay attention to what is truly valuable instead of what is merely visible. A high-LQ person notices: the people around them the beauty in ordinary moments the emotions beneath the surface 2. Courage: Fighting for What Makes Lif...

For much of my life, I thought love was a feeling. I thought love was something you felt when people appreciated you, supported you, or cared for you. I believed that if the feeling was strong enough, relationships would last, teams would work well together, and life would somehow fall into place. But life taught me a different lesson. Over nearly four decades of working with people, I saw intelligent leaders fail because they could not connect with others. I saw talented individuals lose opportunities because they lacked trust and influence. I saw families drift apart, not because there was no love, but because there was no understanding. That experience forced me to reflect deeply. What was missing? Why do good people still hurt each other? Why do relationships break down even when both parties once cared? The answer I discovered was simple, yet profound. Love is not merely a feeling. Feelings come and go. Some days we feel loving; other days we do not. If love is only a feeling, the...