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“I Feel So Far from My Family. How Do I Love Again?” A question people often ask me is: “My children seem so far away from me. I’m no longer close to my spouse, my family or even my friends. I feel that I don’t know how to give love anymore. What can I do?” My answer is: Don't begin by trying to feel more love. Begin by doing one loving thing. Dear You teaches us this beautifully.  Nobody in the movie gives lectures about love. They simply do love. Musheng works long hours and saves whatever he can for his family. He shows us that love can be responsibility. Nanzhi writes letters and sends money for 18 years without asking for recognition. She shows us that love can be giving without keeping score. Shurou waits, raises her children and continues living. She shows us that love can be faithfulness. Xie Laishun does not control his daughter. He gives her the freedom to live her own life. He shows us that sometimes love means letting go. There is something important here. They don'...

D ear You Is Actually Full of Sun Tzu’s Art of War There are no battlefields, generals or weapons in Dear You . Yet the philosophy of Sun Tzu’s Art of War is everywhere in the movie. The film does not “teach” Sun Tzu. It lives Sun Tzu. 1. Win Without Fighting: The Highest Victory Defeats No One Sun Tzu’s highest ideal is not winning a hundred battles. It is achieving victory without having to fight . In Dear You , the characters repeatedly choose not to fight, confront, possess or expose. Shurou does not resolve relationships through confrontation. Nanzhi and Musheng do not allow their complicated relationship to become one of possession. Again and again, we see restraint, acceptance, patience and sacrifice. The greatest victory is not when I win and you lose. It is when the relationship does not lose. That is Win Without Fighting . 2. Know Yourself, Know Others: Understand Before You Act “Know yourself, know your enemy” is often interpreted as studying your competitors. But in relati...

For Money, We Do Whatever It Takes; For Love, We Become Who We Truly Are What Dear You Teaches Me About Love Intelligence Dear You made me realize something profound: Money reveals what we want. Love reveals who we truly are. Look at the four characters. Xiao Wei goes to Thailand for money. He wants to find his supposedly “rich Grandpa Musheng” and claim the wealth he believes is waiting for him. At the beginning, he is not searching for family, history or love. He is searching for money. Nanzhi also does whatever it takes—but not to receive. She does it to repay gratitude. After Musheng dies, she spends 18 years writing letters and sending money to Shurou in China under his name. No recognition. No reward. She is simply preserving Qing Yi. Musheng works relentlessly to earn and save money. But money is never his destination. His family is. He spends little on himself so that he can send more home to his wife and children. Shurou raises three children largely on her own. She does not k...

Why Watch Dear You More Than Once? 5 Connections Through the Lens of Love Intelligence Many people do not watch Dear You just once. They watch it twice, three times, even five times. Why? Because this is not merely a movie about a story. It is a movie about life . 1. The First Time, You See the Story We follow Mu Sheng, Lan Zhi and Shurou. We laugh with them. We cry with them. We are moved by what happens, but we may not yet understand its deeper meaning. 2. The Second Time, You See the People You begin noticing every glance, every line and every silence. You discover that some of the most touching moments come not from dramatic events, but from ordinary people quietly doing extraordinary things. 3. The Third Time, You See Yourself Something changes. Mu Sheng, Nan Zhi and Shurou are no longer just characters. They become mirrors. We are no longer crying only for them. We cry for the sincerity we once had, the people we missed, and the words we never managed to say....

  Love Is Never a Burden What Dear You Teaches Us About Pure Love Many people say,  "Love is hard.",  "I feel so tired loving someone."   "I feel pressured to be loved." But perhaps what we are carrying is not love . It is responsibility .  Or expectation,  guilt or  fear. Because love itself is never a burden.  Love simply loves.  Nothing more.  Nothing less. Dear You beautifully demonstrates this truth. First, Nanzhi never expected anything in return. For eighteen years, she wrote letters and sent money to Shurou under Musheng's name. She never asked for recognition, gratitude or even friendship. She loved because she chose to love. Second, Xie Laishun loved his child unconditionally. Though poor and often misunderstood, everything he did was for his family. He never kept score, never demanded repayment. Like many parents, his love was expressed through quiet sacrifice rather than words. Third, Shurou never measured M...

The World's Most Common Language: Love What Dear You Teaches Us About Love Intelligence What is the most widely understood language in the world?  Not English,  Mandarin or  Spanish. It is love . That is why movies move us.  Songs stay in our hearts.  Plays make us cry.  Even a one-minute reel can touch millions. Because behind every unforgettable story is one universal language: l ove . Love costs nothing. Yet it has created billion-dollar movies, best-selling books and timeless songs. Dear You is proof.  A US$2 million that created US$350 sales.  At its heart, it is simply a story about love. The love between husband and wife,  parents and children, and  friends. The love of keeping a promise. There are no superheroes.  No spectacular special effects. Jus t ordinary people loving one another in extraordinary ways . And that touched millions. Perhaps this is why so many people today feel empty. We are surrounded by...

Learn Yijing from Dear You Many people think the Yijing (I Ching) is mysterious or difficult to understand. But if you have watched Dear You , you have already seen many of its timeless principles in action. 1. Oneness (万物一体) Yijing teaches that everything is interconnected. In Dear You , Musheng, Nanzhi, Shurou and even Xie Laishun are not separate stories. Their lives become one through a single promise, a letter, and an act of love. When one person suffers, everyone is affected. When one person chooses love, everyone benefits. That is the wisdom of oneness. 2. Yin and Yang (阴阳) Life is never simply right or wrong. Truth and compassion. Gain and sacrifice. Joy and sorrow. Nanzhi's "lie" appears wrong on the surface, yet it brings hope to an entire family. What seems negative (Yin) gives birth to something positive (Yang). Yijing reminds us that Yin contains Yang, and Yang contains Yin. Nothing is absolute. 3. Change (变易) Everything changes. Musheng p...

The success of Dear You is more than just great filmmaking. It is the perfect combination of Tian, Di and Ren. Tian (Timing). Today is the right time to watch Dear You. There is a growing revival of Chinese dialects and traditional culture. Twenty or thirty years from now, far fewer people will understand Teochew, Qiaopi (overseas Chinese letters and remittances), and the customs of the older generation. Watching the film today is not just entertainment, it is preserving a precious cultural heritage before it fades away. Di (Context). The movie is deeply rooted in the Teochew homeland and the history of overseas Chinese. It brings to life a unique culture of family, sacrifice and belonging, allowing Chinese communities around the world to reconnect with their roots. Another 20, 30 years, few would remember such things, and most overseas Chinese would not even know if they are Teochew, Hakka or Hockien.  Ren (People). This is where Dear You truly shines. Through Musheng, Nanzhi, Shu...

Authenticity Is Worth US$350 Million What Dear You Teaches Us About Love Intelligence From a young age, many of us were taught to hide our weaknesses. Be strong.  Be perfect.  Be professional. Never let others see your fears. So we learned to wear masks. Ironically, many people have become excellent performers without ever attending acting school. Long after COVID, the masks remain, not on our faces, but in our hearts. Many believe that authenticity is risky. If you reveal your true self, people may judge you. You may appear weak, less professional, or even less successful. But Dear You tells a completely different story. The movie has surpassed US$350 million at the global box office, not because of spectacular special effects or famous stars, but because it feels real . It's investment?  Only US$2 million.  A 175 times return.  The characters of Musheng, Nanzhi, Shurou and Xie Laishun are fictional, yet they are inspired by the lives of ordin...

Can a Man and a Woman Be Just Friends? What Dear You Teaches Us About Love Intelligence After my earlier article, many people asked: "How could Nanzhi and Musheng remain such good friends without becoming lovers?" Their relationship reveals one of the highest forms of Love Intelligence. It was never built on romance. It was built on the 3Cs. Care Nanzhi genuinely cared about Musheng's wellbeing, his dreams, and most importantly, his family. Her care was selfless, it sought his happiness, not her own. Courage She had the courage to put aside her personal feelings. Even after Musheng's death, she quietly honoured his life's purpose by writing letters and sending remittances to Shurou for eighteen years. True courage is often silent. Connection Their friendship was founded on deep trust and mutual respect. Neither sought to possess the other. Instead, they protected what mattered most to one another. That is why their friendship endured. Love Intelligence teaches us ...

Don't Overdo Emotions What Dear You Teaches Us About Love Intelligence People often take emotions to extremes. When they're happy, they celebrate without limits. When they're sad, they become overwhelmed. Many films are designed to squeeze every possible tear from the audience. They amplify every emotional moment, making every scene more dramatic than necessary. Not Dear You . The entire film is an exercise in restraint . Each major crying scene lasts less than a minute. Moments of humour naturally follow scenes of sadness, allowing the audience to breathe again. Director L an Hongchun deliberately avoided making the film emotionally overwhelming. He explained: "I don't want audiences to leave the cinema with heavy hearts. I want them to leave with gratitude and a lighter heart." That is the mark of a master storyteller. A truly moving film does not drown people in sorrow. It helps them discover hope beyond it. The same is true of Love Intelligence . The hig...

Purpose. Love. Gratitude What Dear You Director Nan Hongchun Wants Us to Remember Why has Dear You touched millions of hearts? Beyond its moving story lies three simple values that director Nan Hongchun brings to life: Purpose Nan Hongchun has said that the purpose of making Dear You was to preserve the history of Qiaopi:  the letters and remittances that overseas Chinese sent home to support their families in China. It is not merely a film about the past, but a tribute to the sacrifices, resilience, and humanity behind every letter. Love The film reflects Nan's deep love for Chaoshan culture and its people. His pursuit of authenticity led him to cast ordinary people instead of professional actors, allowing genuine emotions and real-life experiences to shine through. Gratitude The film ends with a powerful sense of gratitude: from those whose lives were sustained by the letters and remittances, and from later generations who recognise Qiaopi as a priceless cultural heritage. Gr...

One of the most powerful messages in Dear You is this simple truth: The show must go on. After Musheng's death, Nanzhi quietly chose to continue writing letters and sending remittances to Musheng's wife, Shurou, in China for eighteen years. She carried a burden that was never hers, simply so that hope, dignity, and a family's future could continue. Meanwhile, Shurou continued living with faith that her husband was safe in Thailand. She remained "Musheng's wife," raising their children and moving forward one day at a time. Before his death at the age of just 32, Musheng had worked tirelessly with a single purpose: to send as much money home as he could each month so his family could have a better life. Even after his life ended, that purpose continued through someone else's sacrifice. Every major character in Dear You embodies the spirit that the show must go on . They do not stop because life becomes unfair. They continue because love gives them a reason...

Did Shurou Know the Truth? One of the most discussed questions in Dear You movie is whether Shurou knew that "Musheng" had died in 1960 and that the letters and remittances were actually coming from Nanzhi or someone else. Some viewers believe she gradually became suspicious. Eighteen years is a long time, and she may have sensed subtle changes in the letters. Yet as a widow raising three children, the monthly support gave her family hope and stability. Rather than uncover the truth, she may have chosen to let the letters continue. When her children became adults and no longer depended on the money, Shurou stopped writing back. Some interpret this as her quiet way of saying: "I know. Thank you. You can stop now." The movie never confirms whether this is true, and that ambiguity is part of its genius. My own interpretation is that Shurou probably suspected, but chose not to seek certainty. Nanzhi chose to protect Shurou through eighteen years of sacrifice, while Shur...

Why Are We Really Crying After Watching Dear You ? Dear You has surpassed US$350 million at the global box office. People leave the cinema with red eyes. Some sob until they can hardly breathe. Some remain seated long after the credits have rolled. Others return home, close the door, and cry all over again. But why? Are we crying because Musheng died so young? Because Shurou spent a lifetime waiting in loneliness? Because Nanzhi sacrificed 18 years of her life writing letters under  another man's name? Yes.  And no. What we are really crying for... is ourselves. The version of ourselves that once knew how to write a heartfelt letter. The version that could wait six months for a reply without giving up. The version that treasured a single sentence for days because it came from someone we loved. Somewhere along the way, that person quietly disappeared. We became too busy.  Too efficient.  Too practical. Too afraid to love deeply. Dear You is not just a love story. I...

Who Should We Make Friends With? Dear You Gives Us a Simple Answer Grandma's words in Dear You are simple: "Be a person of Qing Yi. Don't associate with people who have no Qing Yi." But how do we know who has Qing Yi ? It has little to do with wealth, education or status. It has everything to do with character. Make friends with people who... 1. Keep Their Promises Their words and actions are consistent. When they say they will do something, they do it. Trust is built on reliability. 2. Stand by You in Difficult Times Many people celebrate with you when life is good. Very few stay when life becomes difficult. True friends remain. 3. Care Without Calculating They help because they care, not because they expect something in return. Their kindness is genuine. 4. Celebrate Your Success They are happy when you succeed. They encourage your growth instead of feeling threatened by it. 5. Dare to Tell You the Truth They don't flatter you. They ...

Only Good News, Never Bad News What Dear You and Qiaopi Teach Us About Love Intelligence One of the most touching lessons in Dear You comes from the Qiaopi (侨批) —the letters sent by overseas Chinese migrants back to their families in China. These letters followed an unspoken rule: Report the good news. Hide the bad news. Why? Not because they wanted to deceive. But because they wanted to protect the people they loved. They did not write about hunger. They did not write about loneliness. They did not write about hardship or danger. They did not report on death, illness, or imprisonment Instead, they wrote, "I'm doing well." "Don't worry about me." Many letters were even rewritten by professional scribes, transforming simple or crude messages into beautiful poems and elegant prose. The words became more beautiful,  because the writers wanted to send hope instead of fear. This was not dishonesty. It was Love Intelligence . They understood something many of us...