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Money can change what you have. Love determines who you become.

For Money, We Do Whatever It Takes; For Love, We Become Who We Truly Are

What Dear You Teaches Me About Love Intelligence

Dear You made me realize something profound:

Money reveals what we want.

Love reveals who we truly are.

Look at the four characters.

  1. Xiao Wei goes to Thailand for money. He wants to find his supposedly “rich Grandpa Musheng” and claim the wealth he believes is waiting for him. At the beginning, he is not searching for family, history or love. He is searching for money.
  2. Nanzhi also does whatever it takes—but not to receive. She does it to repay gratitude. After Musheng dies, she spends 18 years writing letters and sending money to Shurou in China under his name. No recognition. No reward. She is simply preserving Qing Yi.
  3. Musheng works relentlessly to earn and save money. But money is never his destination. His family is. He spends little on himself so that he can send more home to his wife and children.
  4. Shurou raises three children largely on her own. She does not keep demanding more from Musheng in Thailand. She simply carries on, waits and loves.

All four are prepared to “do whatever it takes.”

But there is a fundamental difference:

For money, we do whatever it takes to GET.

For love, we do whatever it takes to GIVE—because that is who we are.


Perhaps this is one of the deepest messages of Dear You.

Love is not merely something these characters feel.

Love reveals their character. They become loyal. Responsible. Grateful. 

Selfless. Courageous.

Ultimately, they become people of Qing Yi.

This is the essence of Love Intelligence (LQ).

  • Care makes us look beyond ourselves.
  • Courage enables us to do what is right even when it is difficult.
  • Connection gives us someone—and something—greater than ourselves to live for.

So perhaps Dear You is not asking:

“How much do you love someone?”

It is asking: “Who do you become because you love?”

Money can change what you have.

Love determines who you become.

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