Skip to main content

当孩子离你越来越远,如何重新去爱?

给阿嬷的情书 教会我们的爱的智慧

很多人问我:

“孩子跟我越来越远,夫妻之间也没有以前亲密,朋友也渐渐少了。我甚至觉得,自己已经不知道怎么去爱了。”

我的回答是:

不要等到有爱的感觉,才去爱。
先做一件有爱的事。

《给阿嬷的情书》里,没有人高谈阔论什么是爱。

他们只是默默地去爱。

  • 木生拼命工作,把钱寄回家——爱,是承担。
  • 南枝十八年写信寄钱,不求回报——爱,是付出。
  • 淑柔独自养大孩子,依然守候——爱,是坚持。

谢来顺没有控制女儿的人生,而是让她走自己的路——爱,有时候也是放手。

这就是《爱的智慧》(LQ)的关爱、勇气、连接。

关爱(Care):从一件小事开始。发一句问候,买一份他喜欢的食物,认真听他说话。

勇气(Courage):即使对方没有马上回应,也继续去爱。不要计算:“为什么总是我先?”

连接(Connection):不要一直要求别人走进你的世界。试着走进他的世界,了解他现在真正关心什么。

很多关系不是突然疏远的,也不会因为一次谈话突然亲近。

所以,不要急着“修复”关系。从小小的爱,重新开始。

今天关心一次。明天再关心一次。慢慢地,陌生会变成熟悉,距离会变成连接。

也许《给阿嬷的情书》最想告诉我们的就是:

爱,从来不需要轰轰烈烈。

一封信,一顿饭,一个电话,一次等待,一句:“我在这里。” 都可以是爱。

不要等别人先爱你。

从今天开始,先爱一个人。

因为爱的智慧,不只是心里有爱,

而是让别人感受到你的爱。

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret Under the Mattress: Why would a 79-year Man Bet So Big on 4D?

It was 2007 when we discovered his secret. While moving my father’s mattress, we found them: heaps and heaps of Singapore Pools 4D tickets. They were stacked in layers, a paper trail of lost hopes. What shocked us most wasn’t just the volume, but the stakes. He wasn’t betting a few dollars for fun. He was punting hundreds of dollars per draw—nearly ten times a month. At the time, my siblings and I were furious. Our father was a 79-year-old retiree. We wondered, with a mix of anger and confusion, why a man at his stage of life would need to win such "big money." What was he going to do with the money? We saw it as a reckless habit, a sign of poor judgment in his final years.  Some of us would say, "If I were to give him money to buy 4D, why don't I use the money and buy 4D myself?  At least I have better discipline".  It has taken me two decades, and the experience of raising my own three grown-up children, to finally see the truth that was hidden under that matt...

Have You Found Your Sun Yi and Teresa Teng?

I n the long, unfolding history of the Chinese-language music scene, "The Moon Represents My Heart" 月亮代表我的心 stands as an unsurpassable milestone. Yet, the journey of this globally renowned masterpiece, a song that would eventually captivate the world, was fraught with setbacks: it was once dismissed as "trash" by its own creator and tossed into a wastebasket, later suppressed by official policy as a "banned song ," and initially failed to gain any traction when performed by two different singers. The dramatic turnaround in this song’s fate is not merely a musical legend; it offers a profound life lesson: the greatest stroke of luck in life is not about how perfect you are, but about encountering the "right people", those who truly understand you, support you, and help you realize your potential, at exactly the right moment. I. The First "Right Person": A "Talent Scout" Who Recognizes Your Worth In the early 1970s, composer T...

How to Use Zoom Cloud Meetings Effectively

(Read also How to Secure Your Zoom meeting ) Other than Zoom Cloud Meeting, you can use other video conferencing platforms like Google Hangouts, Skype and WeChat Video Conference.  Zoom is the most popular because it is free and is easy to use, especially on the phone .  Here's how you can use Zoom effectively: Use a laptop, not your phone or tablet, especially when you are hosting a meeting.  On a laptop, you can see everything: the PowerPoint screen that you are sharing, video of all participants and the group chats.  You can easily type on a laptop and this is useful when you are translating or doing detailed explanations.   The host of the zoom meeting should mute everyone at the settings and only unmute them when they speak.  Participants can indicate that they want to speak by raising their hands before speaking Use earpiece or headsets or wireless earbuds so that you have a better concentration of the voices in the meeting and not be d...