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当孩子离你越来越远,如何重新去爱?

给阿嬷的情书 教会我们的爱的智慧

很多人问我:

“孩子跟我越来越远,夫妻之间也没有以前亲密,朋友也渐渐少了。我甚至觉得,自己已经不知道怎么去爱了。”

我的回答是:

不要等到有爱的感觉,才去爱。
先做一件有爱的事。

《给阿嬷的情书》里,没有人高谈阔论什么是爱。

他们只是默默地去爱

  • 木生拼命工作,把钱寄回家——爱,是承担。
  • 南枝十八年写信寄钱,不求回报——爱,是付出。
  • 淑柔独自养大孩子,依然守候——爱,是坚持。

谢来顺没有控制女儿的人生,而是让她走自己的路——爱,有时候也是放手。

这就是《爱的智慧》(LQ)的关爱、勇气、连接

关爱(Care):从一件小事开始。发一句问候,买一份他喜欢的食物,认真听他说话。

勇气(Courage):即使对方没有马上回应,也继续去爱。不要计算:“为什么总是我先?”

连接(Connection):不要一直要求别人走进你的世界。试着走进他的世界,了解他现在真正关心什么。

很多关系不是突然疏远的,也不会因为一次谈话突然亲近。

所以,不要急着“修复”关系。从小小的爱,重新开始。

今天关心一次。明天再关心一次。慢慢地,陌生会变成熟悉,距离会变成连接。

也许《给阿嬷的情书》最想告诉我们的就是:

爱,从来不需要轰轰烈烈。

一封信,一顿饭,一个电话,一次等待,一句:“我在这里。” 都可以是爱。

不要等别人先爱你。

从今天开始,先爱一个人。

因为爱的智慧,不只是心里有爱,

而是让别人感受到你的爱。

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