The Self Behind the Roles

The Self Behind the Roles

In the busyness of life, we often wear many roles: parent, professional, service provider, advisor, achiever, leader, etc. These roles become so familiar, we sometimes forget they are roles, not who we really are.

On the 21st of April 2025, I stood by the Yi River in Luoyang, Henan, China. I carry no business cards, and have no schedule. Just a simple traveller, watching the few thousand-year-old river and the thousand-year-old Buddha carvings across the river.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel the need to be anyone. And strangely… I felt more myself than ever.

The Me is just to be myself and ignore the crowds of tourists around me.  Just sit in the shade and do nothing, no handphones, no Tik Tok, no nothing. 

The silence helped me realise how much of my daily energy is spent responding to others’ expectations. "Please speak slowly to the elderly customers", "Don't spend all your time at work, spend time with your family".  Often, the expectations are not even spoken — just deeply conditioned. Be efficient. Be patient as they call you 'Teacher Andy'.  Be agreeable. Be the “good” version of yourself.

But what if our true self isn’t something we create… but someone we return to?

My friend is working on a new book about "SuperMe" and that starts me thinking: why crave to be someone when we just need to be our "SuperMe"?

The journey to our “SuperMe" doesn’t start with ambition; it starts with remembering.

Today, I invite you to pause:

What role are you playing that no longer reflects your truth?

You don’t need to fix yourself.

You don’t need to start over.

You simply need to remember who you are — and begin coming home to your "SuperMe". 

Note: This article is inspired by a song that I listened to last week, and my free-and-easy Luoyang trip this week.