Skip to main content

They speak rudely but their hearts were gentle

Speaking Rudely or Simply Speaking from Life?

What Dear You Teaches Us About Love Intelligence

Some people say the characters in Dear You sound rude.

Others wonder whether they are simply crude people.

The truth is, neither is entirely correct.

The movie uses the Chaoyang (潮阳) accent of the Teochew dialect, which naturally has a deeper, stronger and more direct tone than what many Singaporeans or Malaysians are used to hearing.

But there is something even more important.

Their way of speaking reflects the harsh realities of their lives.

These were immigrants struggling to survive in a foreign land.

They worked long hours.

They faced poverty, uncertainty and discrimination.

Life was hard.

Their words were rough.

But their hearts were gentle.

This is perhaps one of the biggest lessons from Dear You.

Don't judge people only by how they speak.

  • Look at how they live.
  • Look at what they do.

Mu Sheng sacrificed everything for his family.

Nanzhi quietly devoted twenty years of her life to keeping hope alive for another woman.

Xie Laishun appeared rough and drunk, yet he protected his daughter, sheltered migrants and gave his life helping others.

Their words may have sounded tough.

But their actions revealed extraordinary love.

That is what truly matters.

This is also the essence of Love Intelligence (LQ).

Love is not measured by sweet words alone.

Love is measured by the courage to do the right thing.

By the willingness to sacrifice.

By choosing to care when caring is difficult.

People may not always speak gently.

But they can still love deeply.

In the end, actions speak louder than accents.

And that is one of the most beautiful messages of Dear You.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What an Executive Coach and Business Coach Does

The Secret Under the Mattress: Why would a 79-year Man Bet So Big on 4D?

It was 2007 when we discovered his secret. While moving my father’s mattress, we found them: heaps and heaps of Singapore Pools 4D tickets. They were stacked in layers, a paper trail of lost hopes. What shocked us most wasn’t just the volume, but the stakes. He wasn’t betting a few dollars for fun. He was punting hundreds of dollars per draw—nearly ten times a month. At the time, my siblings and I were furious. Our father was a 79-year-old retiree. We wondered, with a mix of anger and confusion, why a man at his stage of life would need to win such "big money." What was he going to do with the money? We saw it as a reckless habit, a sign of poor judgment in his final years.  Some of us would say, "If I were to give him money to buy 4D, why don't I use the money and buy 4D myself?  At least I have better discipline".  It has taken me two decades, and the experience of raising my own three grown-up children, to finally see the truth that was hidden under that matt...

Head Bleeding when the Chair Falls

The Weight of Silence: What Were We Really Arguing About? My earliest memories are punctuated by the sound of shouting. In 1970, when I was barely 6 years old, I stood as a small witness to the fierce quarrels between my father and my late eldest brother Kah Yang (he passed away in 1971 at the age of 17). As I grew up, these contradictions became the soundtrack of our lives, usually centered around our family's shoe shop and clothing stalls in Chinatown. In the court of family opinion, the verdict was almost always the same: my father was "wrong." He was judged as a man who didn't fulfill his role, who wasn't "burdening" enough for the family’s success. But as I look back from the vantage point of 2026, I have to ask: Was that actually true? Let me finally put to rest what my father did right: the truths that were buried under decades of criticism: Unseen Labor: He worked grueling, long hours. I remember him hauling boxes of goods and equipment to set u...